To anyone who has ever been cheated on.

BigBelly

I was cheated on by my husband last year. (If you don't remember, my post is still on here). Anyway. My question is how do you get over it? Like how can i stop thinking about it? It still pops in my head all the time! I feel like it was my choice to stay with him and work things out so i don't wanna think about it anymore. Idk how to get past it tho. And it still hurts sooo bad when i think about it yet i can't stop

firsttimemom

I'm sorry I could be wrong. If It's been a year and you still dwell on it, you will never get over it. I've been there before. I never forgot, so I moved on with my own life. Everyone is different, but if I can't forget it why keep going, of It's only going to hurt you. I'm sure he doesn't think about it, yet your still hurt:'(

SalasMommy

forgive is forget.

SalasMommy

all i can say when you stop bringing it up, show each other love undestanding and affection its really easy to forget. getting to trust again is hard but its possible. it takes time but if you love them you will start to forget and believe me you will get over it and start living life like before. of course the one who did it has to show you they arent going out late at night again for example or whatever was the problem you know. like me n my husband we r so open he has my fb password logs in when he feels like it he answers my phone sometimes i dc and i the same to him. we both have made a mistake so we both give each other full access to anything the other wants to know. trust me if you love him enough and want to be wih him yoi will forget eventually there comes a point when you dont even think about for months anymore.

smcox

Have you guys tried counseling? You may need outside help to move forward.

BigBelly

@firsttimemom That's what I'm afraid of! If Ihavent gotten over it by now, will i ever?! @salasmommy I do love him! I hope your right about it eventually getting better! I just was kinda hoping that it still wouldn't hurt this much after so long. And we've gone to counseling a few times but it didn't seem to help. He isn't very good at talking and anything that has to do with emotions. @smcox

Roxy

well idk if this is cheating, but when my boyfriend left me he fucked some one. then he wanted me back after he realize. I couldn't for give him till I knew the truth. he told me the truth probably not the whole truth but we got back together its been 4 years he's a change man I have for gave him and were great, BUT i still think about it. it doesn't hurt me, but I still think about it idk y. I dnt bring it up cause y should I that was the past I accept him back to start new not to bring old stuff up. I believe that u can for give and trust again but u can NEVER forget so I believe u well get over it but its a process sry u had to go threw this it hurts like hell

Roxy

firsttimemom said u well never for get some times I wish I should have just left cause y live with this but I have a son now and its been years past he's change so ill live with it

SalasMommy

its different for everyone bc different things were involved or happened i hope you are able to move past this that is wih him or without.

Maymommy2011

I couldn't forgive him until I totally trusted him again... its the trust issue that would kill me

ashley_smashley

The trust thing would kill me. I would never be able to trust him again...and if there is no trust, there is no relationship.

perly

@bigbelly i know you said you forgave him and took him back, but did you really forgive him? Does your heart feel like you can trust him 100%? It may be that you don't completely trust him yet, and if that is the case then something needs to be done. Has he tried to gain your trust back, or has this just been "forgotten"?
It could come down to 2 things, either he has tried to gain your trust back and its just not enough for you or he assumed he didn't have to try to gain your trust because you decided to let it go. Both things can cause those thoughts to come back. If all he has to do is show you he is trustworthy then the relationship has hope, but if he has tried to gain your trust and its not enough for you then you will never be happy because nothing he ever does will be enough for you to trust him again.
I think some of us think that we can forgive something, but never really do. I hope you both can get through this. Try counseling, anything that can help you both.

Mallory27

Makenzie's dad cheated on me when she was a few weeks old. I stayed with him until she was 3 months and then he asked for a break and I said no and he left. I don't do breaks I just think its an excuse to go sleep around and then have a place to come back to when the "hoes" are gone lol Anyway its been about 9 months and I still hate him for it but it doesn't upset me "being alone" is what upsets me. I just focused on Makenzie which helped me get over it and which is what helps me get over that alone feeling as well.

BigBelly

@maymommy2011 @ashley_smashley @perly That's almost it! I forgave him for what he did but it's the whole "believing" him thing. In my eyes, once you shit on my trust shame on you! I'm such a head strong person that once you hurt me, i will never forgive or forget it! But i do love him with everything. He gave me the 2 most precious things in the world!!! So i want to forgive and forget... He is trying in his eyes but to me it's no where near what i want from him!

jules

I've never been cheated on. not that I know of but my suggestion is to first tell yourself that although u may have forgiven him sometimes it's hard to forget. And that's ok don't be to hard on yourself. Like the other girls were doing he needs to do some things to gain your trust back, go to counselor. To talk to someone u will be able to really sit down and think about your feelings, if u ever see things going back to how they used to be as far as how u used to feel about him or even each other. Can u say that yes I see myself moving on from this. I see myself trusting him with everything once again. Plus this is human nature I mean it says that divorce is not supposed to happen with the exception of adultery and abuse. I personally think it's in or nature to not forget something like that all the way. It's part of how we protect ourselves. I think it's time to talk to him and be honest about your feelings. If his serious about this issue he will go talk to counselor. I mean this is big deal my bf got cheated on by his ex wife and he wanted to give her a chance she was done with him and on to the new guy already. But honestly it was for best BC being cheated on changed him so much add far as how protective he is of himself and doesn't want to settle down. I know it's mainly BC of what his been through. And he has no respect for her as person because of it. Although he tries to convert it up since they have cold together. I hope that things work out for you for the best!

Soon2bmommyof2

..

perly

@bigbelly now that you know what is really going on, you need to decide what is more important for you.
It is very hard to make this kind of decision, but it has to be made before it gets negative. Is it important that your relationship and family stays together, or is it important that you have that peace of mind even if it means that you may not have this relationship.
Communication is key. Seek counseling so that the things that need to be said can be said, and the decisions that have to be made can be made. Like i said earlier, i hope you can get this sorted

Fate

Text me. I'll inbox you my number.

Angelmonkeymelody

My husband has not cheated on me before but all of my ex has and i mean every one because i would not give them sex. But i do have to admit when my husband is at work i worry that he is cheating on me but i know he won't it just worrys me.. I just talk to him.. The key part of a relationship is communication if you don't have it then your relationship is gone that's just the way i feel..

pregoagainYAY

Everyone is different.....but in my experience I could not forget and I lost all my trust and eventually ended the relationship.....If you really want this to work try counseling and see if that helps.....maybe they can give you different ways to cope with the betrayal.........I wish you thr best

BigBelly

Thanks @everyone! I gotta find a way past this and from what i hear it's gonna take time! Trust is my #1 main concern! Once he starts gaining that back, i feel like it will be easier.