I'm actually able to make my police statement today, so ill be going in in a few hours. I'm nervous, cops scare me, and well, he's crazy, I'm worried a bit about what hell do when he sees I've contributed to this. I'm not thinking of backing out, I'm too much of a justice seeker to do that, but I'mttrying to form a plan on what he might do and how ill have to react.
On the other side of things, the ex just posted on fb that she's full of lies and luckily he can prove that. So now she's freaking out, wondering what loophole he might be planning on using. I think her statement is pretty solid and airtight, as does she, but its got her worried. My guess is that's his intentions. He's a classic bully, but it is a bit stressful not knowing what he's up to. We know he's not above lying or paying someone off to lie for him, or getting his family to lie for him. So it may just be a waiting game to see what he brings up.
Thanks everyone for the good wishes, prayers and positive energy. You guys realy rock the cabana. Its nice being able To spill everything somewhere, especially since I'm trying to be a rock for her. Ill update after I talk to the police.
I would be worried as well. My ex did precisely that. Lied and took things that were truth and blew them so out of proportion that I was shocked. Honesty is the best, as most judges will see straight through someone who is lying. MOST! My judge believed all of my exes lies at our pendente lite hearing and because no evidence is presented, i couldnt refute them. It bit him in the ass though.
She needs to screenshot his facebook post for court. Judges do not look kindly upon posting crap about the other party on social networking sites. It shows spitefulness and can indicate that this parent will not be best suited for custody as they will have difficulty communicating with the other parent for the best interest of the child. Not to mention that they may talk down about the other parent to the child as they get older. The number one rule in custody battles is to never post anything about it online!!! Women have often (and men) lost custody just for this reason alone.
@captivated thanks for responding man. I really value your advice in this matter. We do have a screen shot of it, that's good to know it can be used it court. I wasn't sure if it would be since it didn't state anything specific. I think she has sent it to her lawyer, or will be in any case. And yes, I'm worried about him lying. He does it a lot. However, I think that he might not come across very believable in court, since he truly believes he's smarter than everyone he comes across, including teachers, police officers lawyers and I'm inclined to assume judges as well. We bought my friend some new clothes so she looks put together and professional in court, I doubt hell do the same. Any advice on presentation of personal appearance in court?
Oh boy. Physical appearance is the thing I messed up on big time at my initial hearing. Your friend needs to be the epitome of June Cleaver. A suit is best. Pants, no skirt. No shoulders showing, no legs, no cleavage of any kind. Loose fitting slacks (properly fitted, not tight), a button down blouse and a suit jacket/blazer is best. No earrings or jewelry or if so, very simple such as diamond or pearl studs in the ear. Recommend she wears her hair nicely pinned up in a bun or if down, very professional. No open toed shoes or heels. Heels need to be professional and a low heel. he above is what was recommended by my amttorney.
I am glad to be of some help. I am extremely passionate about this topic because there are so many misconceptions out there and many many women are unaware of how these cases really work. I was told many of these things prior to my first hearing "don't worry, good mothers dont lose custody of their kids" and "so long as you're not a drug addict, have a criminal record etc etc, no judge will remove custody of your child". Well, I had no criminal record, did not do drugs, was a recently separated navy veteran, about to go to nursing school, owned a house, raised my daughter with little help from the ex, was in a long term and stable relationship with my boyfriend etc. my ex was an alcoholic, lived 2k miles away, lived with his mother, had documented domestic assault case on me in which he attempted to kill him and me while i was pregnant, was in psychiatric ward for attempted suicide, had many affairs and hired prostitutes from craigslist and so on. all of this was documented...and i lost custody initially. it woke me the hell up and I began doing immense research in which I found out that this was happening everywhere. I fired my lawyer and hired the best one in my city. I gathered all.of my evidence, documentation and did most of the work for my lawyer. A lawyer is great, but only as good as the work you put in with them. I get highly annoyed by the misconceptions out there regarding mothers losing custody. It was humiliating for others to think I had to be a bad mother for losing. it simply wasnt the case.
Your friend sounds like she is fighting hard. Tell her to keep it up. I looked at it as life or death and had i not worked as hard as i did, i would have lost.
Yeah I'm starting to realize how cases that shouldbe open sshut are just not. Its highly frustrating, but she's doing I believe everything she can do at this point. I will pass along the appearance info, she does have a skirt, she has black pants but they are not nearly as in as good condition as the skirt. We bought a button up blouse for her, and flat closed toe shoes. Unfortunately, we don't have the money to get a blazer, at least not for Thursday. Same kind of dress code for people going to support her? @captivated
Yes. Everyone needs to be business professional. As if they are all going to job interviews. The skirt should be fine so long as it is to the knees or so. For other hearings, have her get a jacket or something if not, it should be fine!
I hope it goes well for you I would be worried as well especially since he sounds kinda crazy but if he does anything just because you're helping if anything that will just make him look bad which could help your side. I hope the baby is going ok during all of this.
@captivated yeah it hits about mid knee on her. She definitely looks professional, ill make sure she gets a jacket for the next date. Right now she has a long winter jacket, one of those business/classy ones that shell be wearing. Ill be going, so ill make sure I'm dressed up, as is probably my dad who will be in hos work clothes, a suit. She has another friend coming but I'm not sure what she'll be in. Ill make sure my friend tells her to dress up.
@jules ya I know it'd look bad on him. Guess I'm moderately worried since he knows where I live and I've got my own lil girl to watch out for too. I'm hoping her kids okay too. Hopefully they've stepped up their game for her sake since seeing that my friend submitted pictures if their house in her affidavit.
I had 11 witnesses and 15 people accompany me to my trial. He had just him and his mother testify.Ruined their case. The judge mentioned that I have immense family/friend support and I believe just having these people sit behind me helped my cause. Her having people with her will help a lot!
@captivated wow that's a lot. Good on your family and friends! I can see why that would make a difference for sure. I'm waiting on the cop to arrive now to give my statement.
I met with the cop handling this case today...it was a pretty crummy time. I have a lot of guilt over her sexual assault, and reliving that was really tough. but, its done now. Ive made my statement, and now hes gonna call my friends ex to have him come in and give a statement. unfortunately, if he chooses not to say anything whatsoever...then were SOL on this one. which sucks, cause then hell be super pissed off, and even more unlikely to let my friend visit her kid. =( so my friend is pretty down about that, but its out of our hands now.
but on the plus side, the cop who were dealing with is super awesome, very nice guy, and flat out said he believes my friend. which feels really good to hear a unbiased third party say. Plus, hes literally over seven feet tall. a super intimidating guy haha, so at very least, her ex (whos maybe 5'9?) wont feel so big and macho anymore. i gave the cop a heads up that her ex might very well show up high, and that he always thinks hes smarter than everyone in the room. the cop laughed, and said, most criminals think that same way. he said hed call us before he meets/calls her ex, so we have a heads up. i said hed probably be stupid to show up at my house, but the cop said that youd be surprised with how many people do stuff like that. i can file for a protective order, so that he cant come near me, my kid, my work or my house. im not sure if i will yet, since i dont know if it will affect me going to my friends court hearing.
and well..thats it now. now we just wait wait wait for thursday to come around, and hope for the best.
I'm glad it went well. I think it's good point about the protective order may keep you limited so it may be good to wait. I will pray for your safety and your Friend and her baby girl. Hopefully all this will pay off soon !
I'm so disgusted right now. They're 50/50 custody until they go to court again for her motion to move in June. My friend gets her daughter today, she picked her up and guess what!? The poor thing had croup and HAS FOR OVER A WEEK!! Her dad didn't do anything, didn't take her in to the Dr didn't try at home treatments. Nothing. So my friend rushed her to a walk in clinic as soon as she heard how sick she sounded (cough, no voice) its so sad and so frustrating!! He clearly isn't taking care of her!!
The system seems so messed up ! i seriously feel so hurt for her! That guy sounds like such a horrible father why can't they see that?!?!? They shouldn't take her child away from her they should take her away from him! i feel with the help of @captivated it will work out in her favor.
Im sorry she didn't get to keep her daughter. But at least she'll be a lot closer to her and will be able to take care of her more than if the little girl would've stayed with her dad. I hope she has more luck next court date.
I'm very sorry I'm glad she has at least half now. it's so heartbreaking I mean all they have to do is look at the child she's obviously not in good environment. when does she get to go back to court I hope its soon
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On the other side of things, the ex just posted on fb that she's full of lies and luckily he can prove that. So now she's freaking out, wondering what loophole he might be planning on using. I think her statement is pretty solid and airtight, as does she, but its got her worried. My guess is that's his intentions. He's a classic bully, but it is a bit stressful not knowing what he's up to. We know he's not above lying or paying someone off to lie for him, or getting his family to lie for him. So it may just be a waiting game to see what he brings up.
Thanks everyone for the good wishes, prayers and positive energy. You guys realy rock the cabana. Its nice being able To spill everything somewhere, especially since I'm trying to be a rock for her. Ill update after I talk to the police.
She needs to screenshot his facebook post for court. Judges do not look kindly upon posting crap about the other party on social networking sites. It shows spitefulness and can indicate that this parent will not be best suited for custody as they will have difficulty communicating with the other parent for the best interest of the child. Not to mention that they may talk down about the other parent to the child as they get older. The number one rule in custody battles is to never post anything about it online!!! Women have often (and men) lost custody just for this reason alone.
And yes, I'm worried about him lying. He does it a lot. However, I think that he might not come across very believable in court, since he truly believes he's smarter than everyone he comes across, including teachers, police officers lawyers and I'm inclined to assume judges as well.
We bought my friend some new clothes so she looks put together and professional in court, I doubt hell do the same. Any advice on presentation of personal appearance in court?
I am glad to be of some help. I am extremely passionate about this topic because there are so many misconceptions out there and many many women are unaware of how these cases really work. I was told many of these things prior to my first hearing "don't worry, good mothers dont lose custody of their kids" and "so long as you're not a drug addict, have a criminal record etc etc, no judge will remove custody of your child". Well, I had no criminal record, did not do drugs, was a recently separated navy veteran, about to go to nursing school, owned a house, raised my daughter with little help from the ex, was in a long term and stable relationship with my boyfriend etc. my ex was an alcoholic, lived 2k miles away, lived with his mother, had documented domestic assault case on me in which he attempted to kill him and me while i was pregnant, was in psychiatric ward for attempted suicide, had many affairs and hired prostitutes from craigslist and so on. all of this was documented...and i lost custody initially. it woke me the hell up and I began doing immense research in which I found out that this was happening everywhere. I fired my lawyer and hired the best one in my city. I gathered all.of my evidence, documentation and did most of the work for my lawyer. A lawyer is great, but only as good as the work you put in with them. I get highly annoyed by the misconceptions out there regarding mothers losing custody. It was humiliating for others to think I had to be a bad mother for losing. it simply wasnt the case.
Your friend sounds like she is fighting hard. Tell her to keep it up. I looked at it as life or death and had i not worked as hard as i did, i would have lost.
I will pass along the appearance info, she does have a skirt, she has black pants but they are not nearly as in as good condition as the skirt. We bought a button up blouse for her, and flat closed toe shoes. Unfortunately, we don't have the money to get a blazer, at least not for Thursday. Same kind of dress code for people going to support her? @captivated
@jules ya I know it'd look bad on him. Guess I'm moderately worried since he knows where I live and I've got my own lil girl to watch out for too. I'm hoping her kids okay too. Hopefully they've stepped up their game for her sake since seeing that my friend submitted pictures if their house in her affidavit.
@jules. Thanks love. I appreciate it.
but on the plus side, the cop who were dealing with is super awesome, very nice guy, and flat out said he believes my friend. which feels really good to hear a unbiased third party say. Plus, hes literally over seven feet tall. a super intimidating guy haha, so at very least, her ex (whos maybe 5'9?) wont feel so big and macho anymore. i gave the cop a heads up that her ex might very well show up high, and that he always thinks hes smarter than everyone in the room. the cop laughed, and said, most criminals think that same way. he said hed call us before he meets/calls her ex, so we have a heads up. i said hed probably be stupid to show up at my house, but the cop said that youd be surprised with how many people do stuff like that. i can file for a protective order, so that he cant come near me, my kid, my work or my house. im not sure if i will yet, since i dont know if it will affect me going to my friends court hearing.
and well..thats it now. now we just wait wait wait for thursday to come around, and hope for the best.