Oh shit

mummy_to_be

Well. My fiance is no longer my fiance AGAIN. I believe he has a PROBLEM with compulsive lying. I don't think he does it on purpose but anyway. We have no money to get him help and after 4 years, he proposed to me again which many of you know. Everything was GREAT! and then he lied again. Not a big deal, but I'm so bloody sick of it.

Anyway. My symptoms now are. Lots of pimples which I never get. Still cramps every now and again. Massive cramps after I decided to do sit ups. EXTREME tiredness. Not hungry and then BAM I'm starving and I need food right then and there and I can't think about anything else but food. No motivation at all. Really just want to be left alone (aka wouldn't mind if my kids went on a holiday for the next week haha). And new I just noticed that since this morning, my gums are sore.
Yep I'm pretty sure fell pregnant from pre come. Lol well I'll be testing in 3 days as I only have one pee stick and that's when my period is due. I will be making sure counselling is in our budget for next month if I am. I would like to fix things if we'rehhaving another baby.

jules

Oh man that's a lot to take in ha? Well if u think its worth it to try get help then go for it. But as far as him not being ur fiance I mean didn't he just make the commitment for the second time like 2 weeks ago. I don't know what happened this time but I sure hope it wasn't anything too big that ur giving him a chance. U sounds like great person and good mother and u deserve to be happy I can't imagine being married to my husband if he ever lied to me I mean trust is number one thing and there have been things that don't make me super happy to hear but at least I know there has never been anything he kept from me. As everyone says communication is number one thing and I always knew that but once we actaully got married oh boy is it true... but I can't imagine having any good or even ok communication withou trust. U have to be able to answer to urself if u trust him with everything and never question what his saying. If he can lie once it will continue and slowly the lies become bigger I had friend like that. I really hope that u can find money and he can get help but it has to be his choice if he feels at all forced or like its his only options the chances of progress are not big. He needs to want to make the change for himself not for u. I know kinda sounds silly but true change of any kind comes from the inside. Especially someone who has problem with lying unless its for him he will just lie his way through the change as well and continue to lie until u catch him again. I know u want ur family together but I know if it was me I wouldn't put that ring back on until u see the change. U have to protect ur heart and ur children. When ur hurting so are they. And as far as being pregnangt all kids are such blessing I hope u get the answer u want and keep me updated and if u are pass some baby dust over here I'm still waiting to find out until at least the 28th until my missed period but I don't think ill test right away I hate the dissapointment. Best of luck to u and I hope this doesn't feel like a lecture or me judging. I am not close to perfect neither is my life I have no room to judge I'm just speaking for what I would do if it was me in the situation. But no matter what as long as ur happy that's most important and I'm always here for support.

mummy_to_be

Yeah I broke it off with him. I feel silly as I just excepted his proposal but I'm just so tired of the lies. I don't trust him at all. He lied because he stayed at my house for a meek but every day he went out to visit friends. So I said enough. Wanted him to spend time with me. And so he said he hada efew things to do as he is trying to go back to school. Found out he went to a friends. He lies to get his own way.
No thank you for your advice. I appreciate it. I know he needs to want to do it. He tried to get community counselling, but they didn't take him on because they only really deal with very troubled teens.

Baby dust to you hun!!! Xxx

I forgot to mention I have super smell too. Just started gaging while I was doing the dishes lol

captivated

Ask yourself if there was no baby involved, would you still want to work things out? If not, keep stepping. You should never stay for a baby! Never works out! Good luck!

jules

I'm so sorry he puts u through this but a lie is a lie no matter how bad like I said earlier someone lies about something small they won't bother to think to not lie when its something bigger. And also I'm little confused where u at ur home during that week that he was coming and going and lied about where he was? Sorry I'm little confused on that part sounds like u let him stay with u then he would leave to run areand for school and then u just found out that they were lies the entire time. The bottom line is he had no problem lying to ur face and in general. And it sounds like u know exactly what u want and ur strong women and u don't want to stand through the lies. And as far as u breaking it off even though he just re proposed it doesn't matter don't put that on u its all his fault and in no way does it make u stupid his the idiot for finally getting another chance with great person and wonderful mother and then screwing it up soo fast. But hey maybe its God thing that u know the truth now rather then having it go any longer and u putting any more time and heart into it. Keep me updated. And thank you for the baby wishes it means a lot!

perly

I agree with @captivated. The ideal thing is for a baby to be born into a family, but if you wouldn't be with him without a baby, you definitely should not be with him because a baby is on the way.
Regardless of you being pregnant or not, if you decide to give him another chance you need to start all over again. Which means no getting engaged until you're both in a stage in your relationship in which is actually worth taking that step. I don't mean to get onto you or sound old fashioned, but it seems like you both are not taking your relationship seriously. An engagement is a commitment to get married. You don't get engaged and then break it off as many times as you please. Its a commitment to take serious, the same way you would do with marriage. Until you both are on the same page about that, your relationship will never work whether there's a baby or not. Seek counseling and think long and hard. Sometimes, its ok to be selfish even if its hard to do.

mummy_to_be

@captivated no I wouldn't. I have no energy left to keep trying and to wait for him to get help. I just feel bad if I didn't exhaust every possibility to keep our family together

@Jules he doesn't live with me atm but last week he slept over every day. He would wake up, have breakfast, leave to go see mates, come back, eat dinner, go to bed, and then it would all start again.On the llast day I had a go at him for doing this so he said he needed to do some stuff for school (which he actually did do), so he left early morning and then late afternoon I asked him where he was cause we were ment to hang out after he had finished his school stuff n he said he was still at the school. Except I was sitting outside his friends house looking at his car lol. It makes me feel like he doesn't like spending time with me. He lies to get out of anything and everything. Thank you so much for saying it isn't my fault that means a lot. I feel so silly getting back with him and breaking it off all the time. I did pray and I said "god if you want me to stay with him and work things out then let me be pregnant. But if you think it's best for me and my girls to move on, please don't let me be". We had sex twice this month. And he pulled out. So if I'm pregnant, it REALLY was ment to be. What are the odds?

mummy_to_be

@Perly I feel so silly because I feel like it really seems that way (that I'm not taking being engaged seriously). That's why I'm so embarrassed. The first time, I was DEFIANTLY wanting to get married. I took it very seriously, just like when we planned my baby and once I found out I was pregnant he decided he didn't want one anymore! The second time I was very scared but honoured that he loved me that much. I guess I wasn't fully into it. If I do go back I will take your advice and not put that ring back on until I'm absolutely sure I really don't feel it will work without counselling so I may just stay single for a bit until I feel comfortable being with him.

perly

Don't feel silly, every girl does that at some point. But its up to you to stop that now. You're definitely right, if you think that guidance can put this relationship back on track then you should absolutely seek help. But remember, in order for this to work, both of you need to want this. If he's not 100% there, then this is not gonna work.
Now, don't get me wrong i do believe in God and that he doesn't make mistakes, but take into consideration that if you are pregnant maybe it wasn't for you to stay with him. Maybe it was so this baby could give you the strength to see his true colors and finally move on. It can work both ways hunn. Don't automatically assume that it means you're supposed to stay and put up with him. I tell you this because my mom lived it. She had problems with my dad before she was even pregnant with me, and one night she let herself go and God send me lol. She automatically thought that i was a sign from God that her relationship was meant to keep going and that things would get better. 2 years after i was born, she couldn't take it any longer and she left him. We struggled A LOT! But now, my mom is this great, strong independent woman. Something she would have never been if she would've stayed.

Go to counseling, but stay open minded and don't let him sweet talk you.

mummy_to_be

@Perly wow thank you so much for sharing that. You have no idea how much strength and faith that has given me thank you xoxox

jules

Well its true its not ur fault at all. I can't believe it that he just lied like that did u tell him u were outside that would have made him look stupid for sure. I don't think he deserves to make a commitment to anyone right now how can he truly love u and take care of u and the kids when he still acts and thinks as a kid and cares about himself. And as far as u being pregnant and that being a sign I think its tow seperate things unfornunetly God doesn't work that way. Maybe u are pregnant and his trying show u like look this guy is lying to u can't even be there for u he sure isn't gonna be there for the baby and maybe ur meant to know this now rather then later once the kids are being hurt the eay u are maybe this is way to protect them. I just pray that Gods will be done in this situation what that means is if God does what this for u two then he will make a change in this guys life and after time maybe u can trust him but there needs to be a lot of time. But if not then u will know at least ur protecting urself and the kids from being hurt. Its ok I know its hard now I mean I look back to past relationships and I remember neing heart broken and I feel silly now for wasting the time to be sad. Cause now that I'm truly in love with my husband and have wonderful man by my side I couldn't care less about the past which I had a high school sweet heart and my first everything and forever it was soo hard for both of us and I would always wonder what was going on and we still hung out and its so weird cause when I met my husband I naturally stopped caring and communicating with my ex and I could care less lol. U know when ur with a man and u feel like u have to have them show u if they care or love u I've been there well for the first time I don't even have time to stop and think cause when a man does he just does. For example my hubby and I and our lo obviously were going away for the weekdn to visit with our aunt and just do fun stuff oh and she lives were we got married so that's always exciting. Well last night last minute we find out he has to work tonight due to them being short on paramedics. He knew how sad I was while telling me on the phone and normally he would be resting all day to be ready to work all night I mean it in 911 so he wants to be rested especially when it comes to making choices for peoles lives. Well he says to me on the phone ill still try my best to make this weekend fun for us ill take u out tom to this special place that has this russian stuff I'm adopted from russia. And then will do stuff on Sunday and Monday as well. The point is he knew I must be bummed out and is setting himself aside to make me happy even though he has good reason for what's going on ya know. And u deserve to be happy and I hope this guy can come around and be able to do that for u and if not trust me u will be blessed with a wonderful person

mummy_to_be

@Jules Naw your husband is so lovely! I truly hope I find that. Thank you for your advice. Ladiesxyou have made me so strong!

Well I just tested 11-12dpo and got a bfn. That means nothing to me as I only got a bfp the day after af with my girls. So guess I will have to be patient for another 2 days. I do feel a little crampy again.

jules

Thank u his great man but they don't all start out that way his grown a lot and I'm very thankful his little older only 6 years though and that I met him once his done most of his maturing although there was hard times bc when u meet someone ur an individual and so are they its important for both those people to know who they are and what they want and then those two people have to work together to build a partnership. And that takes patients and that's when we are tested and know weather that person was right for you. We had the hard time in building a good base and partnership but they way we worked together is what told us we were meant to be together forever. And u deserve that like I said before and u won't have such questions as trust bc that's very important without that u don't have communication obviosuly, and without that u can't work on building that life long partnership and team. So I hope u guys can either come together and that requires him to make change for himself and if not I know u will find someone who will love u with every little bone in his body and will work his ass off making it work no matter what gets in the way.

mummy_to_be

@Jules I told him today that I was done. Found out he was hanging out with people yesterday that he promised he wouldn't. His excuse was "were not together". If he was trying to get me back, he wouldn't have done it. I've always felt like I'm not worth his efforts. I was very nice and said we just don't go together. Its no ones fault. Then he blasted me telling me I'm ruining our daughter's life, not letting her have a full time dad etc. I just ignored it and got no with my day


Update: still getting very strong opk. Haven't found anyone after hours of research that had strong opks before there period and weren't pregnant. Oh dear lol. 2 days left (10:30pm here so 1 day for you I guess?)

perly

Sorry to say this but it sounds like he's kinda dumb too. He doesn't have to be in a relationship with you to be a full time father. He has the definition all wrong. He should look into investing into a dictionary imo.

MissAmErika

Omg I hate that excuse, "we're not together." It's like, thanks a lot, I thought we were trying to make things work but obviously that was just me.... I just went through this a couple weeks ago. Found girls numbers on my bfs phone and he said it sas from when we were not together. Well I had just GIVEN him that phone to get a hold of him and the numbers were saved to the actual phones memory, and he had started texting one of the numbers right when he knew I was at the store getting a sim card for myyy phone so we could communicate. And I remember him nagging, asking if my phone was on yet. All the while he was texting someone else. Wtf. How was I supposed to know he was single at that moment??? Guys can be sooo stuuuupid!!!

MissAmErika

But at least u made it official.

mummy_to_be

@Perly seriously if you think that's bad lol. His arguments are so ridiculous. Apparently I had to wash the fry pan so he could make dinner, even though I was attending to our baby at that moment, because I was the one who dirtied it. Not that he cleans his own dishes.....

@missamErika that is so horrible! That's something I feel would happened to me. When I was pregnant he was texting some girl from facebook being all dirty. They never met up so apparently "get over it". I kicked him out. I defiantly didn't "get over it". Until Mj was born

Update. Cervical position has just changed to low and hard. I actually think I'm getting my period!!!! Must go to doctor to have tests for pcos. That's the only explanation of consistently very positive opks around this time. When I wasn't well I had a scan and they told me I had an abnormal amount of follicles and it was possible.

jules

your right if he wanted to make it work be would be working very hard to get you back starting by proving his worth it. And him saying your doing this horrible thing to your daughter just shows how amateur he is because yes its not the best to not have your parents together but from personal experience it's worst to have unhappy parents in same house the fighting is so horrible to watch and unhealthy. it's better to show your child that your happy and not have drama every day that can take away from the happiness your lo deserves. I hope I'm making sense I know I was happiest once my pparents separated when I was 9 but by then it was too late and the authorities were contacted and I was taken away which was hard but the best thing that could have ever happened bc I have wonderful parents who adopted me at 11 and love me very much. And I didn't know you could use the ovulation tests to see if u might be pregnant I've never heard of that.I still have some left maybe I'll try it. but I'm not expecting af until the 28th. Do you have any symptoms that you might be?

mummy_to_be

@Jules no you made perfect sense. My daughter starts yelling, please stop fighting. Its so horrible that I've done that to her. She is such an insecure child now. I'm not making the same mistake again. But I just ignored him. I don't feel that he needs an explanation nor would he have listened anyway. Yeah I was the same with my parents. They are finally getting a divorce now!

If you get dark positives consistently, it's an indication your pregnant. Search the web sight, pee on a stick. Its under opks as hpts on the left hand side.
I have every symptom lol. Very vivid dreams 4nites now, sore gums, cramps, waking up in the middle of the night to pee, exhaustion, got gas yesterday (could have been the macas), starving all the time, I can't think of any else atm lol if i'm not pregnant, there is something wrong lol.

jules

oh man that's sad I used to be that little girl but my parents would get physical that's big reason why I don't agree with people getting married or staying married just for the kids. I mean yes I think it's important that once people are married to not give up but when it starts effecting the child it's different story.... so let me get this right you have ovulation kit per sticks you been using and they are getting dark very fast and that can be a sign your pregnant? I've so never seen that before but want to try, since I have them anyways! well I had has like 3 days in row which I don't get gas so I'm getting weird lol and I have soo soo much mucus which I usually have it like this during my ovulation time which I had then it was dry for only 2 days and been like this none stop I even keep track and last month after ovulation I was just dry until af showed ... but our bodies are so crazy that I'm not getting my hopes up. And I've been super itchy which I'm never itchy like I don't even like to be scratched I don't have dry skin or anything and its so bad that I scratched skin off in 3 differ places I think at night time. you have to tell me as soon as you test and I'll Google the opk thing maybe try it you think I can do it tonight or should it be morning urine?

jules

I just looked it up kinda crazy although it did say that it can pick up the 3 different types hormons one that says its ur ovulation time or most fertile and then the pregnancy hormon or just another hormon in ur body so although its not the most accurate thing a lot of women have used it and it does work for them that's fun maybe ill try but its still early probably I still have 4 days until af acourding to my app which could be wrong.

mummy_to_be

@Jules no, four days isn't to early! I started about 6 days before af. If you keep getting positives everyday, its most likely that you are pregnant. I've done one every morning and night and the test line is getting stronger suggest that the hormone is getting stronger. I also just looked and I have very creamy mucous. I decided to buy more tests. 2 cost $15 here so expensive. So I'll test tomorrow morning and then I'll wait a few days. Af is due tomorrow. I do feel a little crampy. Good luck!

jules

Oh ok ill try it tom morning see for some reason mine hasn't actually worked for ovulation. Like I bought them for first time last month to help ttc and they are digital and never got the stupid smily face and still have some of those left. This month I decided to get the none digital once and only got light pink line one of the days and I mean super light so I have no idea what's wrong with me. So ill try to use them tom maybe it will have something . I still have some pregnancy tests as well but won't be using those until I miss af. Did u buy two more ovulation tests or a pregnancy test? I think ur for sure prego with all the symtoms and the opk getting darker and darker especially since u already ovulated this month. Good luck tom update me! I've had crazy mucus too which I feel so hopeless at this point that I'm not taking it as anything in my case in urs with the other symptoms I think its for sure sign

mummy_to_be

I got preg tests @jules there so expensive! I have hope for u. A lot of mucous is a big sign. Let me know how u go xx

jules

Well I used opk this morning and nothing those things have been such wast lol I got no hope for me. When are u gonna test?

mummy_to_be

I was going to this morning but I was up all nite with a friend n peed every hour so not sure if my urine will be potent enough. I was just reading back on past posts of mine in my 2 week wait and I'm experiencing exactly the same things. I only tested positive the day after my period and it was so light the doctor tried to tell me I wasn't. So I don't know if I should test now (8am here) or wait until tomorrow morning. I have 2 tests so if I get nothing, I'll test on 4 days @juels
And I'm not loosing hope for you yet hun xx

mummy_to_be

Oh n I also read when I was using them to fall pregnant with my first, they never worked for me ever. So who knows, maybe I do have pcos

jules

Ya I would wait until morning if I were u just in case the urine would be better. And I've been ususing the opk two cycles now and nver gotten positive one time it got the very light pink and that was it so I don't know if I'm not ovulationg or maybe the hormons in my body arents strong enough I sure hope I'm at least ovulating . Did u read the posts from ur first pregnancy? I'm just making sure I understand correctly lol and u were ttc the first time by using the opk and nver got postitive either? I'm glad at least one of us has hope it helps me stay positive thank you! Lol we just need to text it can get hard communicating on here I didn't even get a notification u commented.

jules

Oh and fyi I have super strong feeling ur prego for sure especially after ur having same symptom. Once u miss test for sure

mummy_to_be

@jules lol I spelt your name wrong that's why. Yeah I read back on my posts from when I was ttc my daughter. I have all the same symptoms. Ad is due today so I did an opk and it was positive. Held onto my urine for 5 hours n did a pregnancy because I couldn't resist lol. Negative. A bloody evap line came up. So annoyed lol. I will wait a few more days now. Wish I could know now. And no, when I was tracking ovulation, the opks didn't work for me either... Lol thank you, I guess I will just have to wait. I hope if I'm not pregnant, that it's not some crazy problem that I have every month!!!