Omg, i want to scream and cry all at the same time!!!

perly

Its been 7wks since i had my baby, and it's literally been 7wks since i cleaned my house. My baby takes up so much of my time and energy that i just cannot get around to cleaning. To make matters worse, hubby is no freaking help. He actually makes more of a mess. Im going crazy! I hate this. I cannot live like this anymore.
I ask hubby to watch the baby so i can get some cleaning done, but he bugs my baby too much and he makes him cry. And then when the baby starts crying, he hands him over to me and i can't finish anymore.
I just had a talk with him. I told him he needs to help me with the baby. I told him that the mess in this house is making me go crazy, it depresses me. I literally cry about it. I hate that my home looks like a dump. I wasn't rude, i was nice and i told him that i understand he works long hours and that he comes home tired, but this baby is also his. Now im not asking him to do something ridiculous, all i ask him is to hold/watch the baby for at least an hour so i can tidy up and that's it. Well when i was done, all he said was "ok. Im going to sleep" and he walked away like if i had not said a word to him. Seriously?! I could strangle him in his sleep right now!!! I just opened up to him about why i've been so annoyed by everything and what my feelings are and he totally ignores me! I so want to pull my hair out! I WANT TO CRY SO BAD RIGHT NOW!!!

(sorry for my long post. This is honestly the only place i have to vent too.)

novmom2be

Oh love, your too overwhelmed right now and i can totally understand where your coming from. I went through sorta the same when I brought my newborn home. It's a lot of adjusting and sometimes it's gets easier or harder. In my case got harder the more mobile my daughter got. Till this day I hv to ask my bFF to watch her for a hour so I can get stuff done without me stopping so many times. She is 20 mths now. But that's my fault since I baby her too much. Anyhow try doing little at a time. Set yourself goal for each day (bathroom one day, bedroom etc) until you can do it all in one day. Becoming a new mother takes a lot out of us with adjusting. As far as hubby goes, that's a man for you. Lol they won't always understand us completely because they work and get that break away from home. And quite doesn't understand our job as a mother. I have to remind my husband my job is 24 hrs with no breaks. Breathe dear. That's what us preglies are here for to vent away

perly

I am SO overwhelmed. Especially because im a neat freak. I have ocd lol.

mommyof3girls

It will get better as time goes on. U r both still adjusting to being parents. It takes a while for everyone to figure out their place. You'll all eventually figure out what works best for u guys. There's no reason he can't help clean and watch the baby. Try to relax. Find some time to clean up enough for u to feel better about it then light a candle, sit back and snuggle w baby.

natashalynn

I know its not the ideal solution, but could you get one of those carrying slings? That way you have your babe with you & you can get some stuff cleaned up?

stephforever89

I feel the same way. I. Went to my dads last night to borrow some cash. I come back home to a t total wreck. He let Isaiah get into everything. After I somewhat picked up earlier. Do you have a family member that can watch him for a little while. I do that with Isaiah from time to time just so I can clean or w.e

stephforever89

Slings work pretty good.

2ndtimearound

My hubby & I never really fought until we had a baby. The first 6 months were rough on our marriage, but it got better. Once I went back to work he helped me more because he couldn't use the excuse that he was tired from work when I asked him to help, cuz I was tired too. It still frustrates me that he doesn't an equal amount of work in the house as me, but not many men do.

Since we found out we are having another baby, I blew up at him the other day about how lazy he is & how when the new better gets here he better step-up his game. It worked the last week & half he has been cleaning & taking more responsibility with caring for our daughter. Yesterday he just realized I haven't yelled at him or been made at him in a week & a half. He said "is that all it takes for you to be nice to me & in a good mood" All I can say is I hope this new leaf he's turned lasts.

perly

@mommyof3girls @2ndtimearound the reason i don't ask him to clean is because he sucks at cleaning. Last night, before our talk, he offered to wash dishes. So he did that and finished and then sat on the couch to watch tv with me. Eventually i got up to put the dishes away and i notice that they are all dirty. Most of them still had food. So i had to wash them all over again. Needless to say he forgot a pan that was on the stove right next to him and a plate he used to eat earlier that day which i also had to wash because "he didn't see them in the sink". If he were to come home, shower, have dinner then take the baby, shower him, feed him and put him to bed for me that would be a lot of help. I do that in an hour, so that's the most it would take him. I just need him to help with the baby, the cleaning i can take care of (i have a small apartment so i can get it clean in very little time, what i need is time.)

@natashalynn i don't have a sling, but i have a baby carrier. I tried cleaning like that once but my baby is too heavy to carry him around while cleaning. And since he sleeps all night, his naps during the day are real short.

@stephforever89 omg why are men like that?!?! They see that stuff is clean and they get stuff dirty all over again. Its like they do it on purpose. I only have one cousin close by but she has an 11 month old that keeps her very busy too so leaving my son there is really not an option.

ExcitedForOctober

I feel you! I feel like now with a newborn and a 20mo old my house will never be the same! I am a clean freak and it is killing me that I don't have time to.clean up like before.

perly

@excitedforoctober well hubby helped with the baby today so i got some stuff done.

2lilblessings

I know exactly how you feel I have my almost 2 year oldsmy babyand my husbandis worst then them I get frustrated and depressed and he doesn't help that much he's mostly outside smoking marijuana

MommyLovesSparkle

I feel the same way. My boyfriend is like a baby and throws things everywhere then complains that i don't clean. (I refuse to clean when he's home because he makes it all dirty. ) i only clean when he's a work. This huge baby leaves a trail of his clothes all over the house since he undresses in every room. Ugh.

ExcitedForOctober

That's good! Hopefully he does that more often from now on.