SO's Mom not happy with our sons weight gain.
My son was born 5lbs 15.5oz. He lost weight in the hospital due the jaundice because he wasn't eating formula or breast milk. He was released at 5lbs 6.5 oz. We had an appointment the next day and he weighed 5lbs 9oz. His two-week appointment he was back at his birth weight. After his circumcision when we had to be admitted (3 weeks) and he weighed 6lb 5oz. Two days later he had a check up and he weighed 6lbs 12oz. His 1 month appointment is Wednesday and I'm hoping he is at least over 7lbs.
Now I or the doctors don't have a problem with his weight again because he is gaining instead of losing. He has at least 6 wets and 3 stools diapers a day. Probably more. He eats every 2 to 3 hours a day. Sometimes 1 hr.
The only people who have a problem is SO and his mom. She thinks my son is failing to thrive because he is small. She thinks he should be at 10lbs by now because that's what SO and his siblings were at one month. But what she fail to realize is she formula fed all her children and they were born at 8 to 9 lbs. So 10lbs & up at 1 month is easy to get to. She said I should put him on formula for him to gain more weight and for him to sleep longer at night.
(Fact: Not all formula fed babies sleep through the night or sleep for long periods.)
She also claimed that my next doctor visit could result in them saying my son was failure to thrive and the DCFS would get involved. Because "to her" he is not gaining enough weight.
(Side Note: I have nothing against formula, I was a formula fed baby and I have nothing against supplementing. I already planned to formula feed or supplement after I go back to work.)
She also said I should feed him 4oz of formula, because again that's what she was feeding her children. Again all of children was born at 8 & 9lbs.
I already said by his 1 month appointment if he isn't at least over 7 or 8lbs I would supplement if I have to. I would never starve my child in the name of EBF or breastmilk. My son's health is much more important than anything.
She also brought up how much he was crying yesterday, which he never cried that much before. He never cried like that at home. It was loud yesterday and too much people. He was overstimulated. So he cried a lot. She said it was because he was hungry and not getting enough milk. He was on my breast all day (since the ceremony started) every hour to 2 hours due a growth spurt and/or to feel comfort, because of all the noise. Also last night he slept 4 hours straight. I slept 2 of those hours.
She made me feel like a horrible parent. Who the hell is she to question how I raise and feed my son? SO is going right along with her.
I'm pissed off and hurt.
Now I or the doctors don't have a problem with his weight again because he is gaining instead of losing. He has at least 6 wets and 3 stools diapers a day. Probably more. He eats every 2 to 3 hours a day. Sometimes 1 hr.
The only people who have a problem is SO and his mom. She thinks my son is failing to thrive because he is small. She thinks he should be at 10lbs by now because that's what SO and his siblings were at one month. But what she fail to realize is she formula fed all her children and they were born at 8 to 9 lbs. So 10lbs & up at 1 month is easy to get to. She said I should put him on formula for him to gain more weight and for him to sleep longer at night.
(Fact: Not all formula fed babies sleep through the night or sleep for long periods.)
She also claimed that my next doctor visit could result in them saying my son was failure to thrive and the DCFS would get involved. Because "to her" he is not gaining enough weight.
(Side Note: I have nothing against formula, I was a formula fed baby and I have nothing against supplementing. I already planned to formula feed or supplement after I go back to work.)
She also said I should feed him 4oz of formula, because again that's what she was feeding her children. Again all of children was born at 8 & 9lbs.
I already said by his 1 month appointment if he isn't at least over 7 or 8lbs I would supplement if I have to. I would never starve my child in the name of EBF or breastmilk. My son's health is much more important than anything.
She also brought up how much he was crying yesterday, which he never cried that much before. He never cried like that at home. It was loud yesterday and too much people. He was overstimulated. So he cried a lot. She said it was because he was hungry and not getting enough milk. He was on my breast all day (since the ceremony started) every hour to 2 hours due a growth spurt and/or to feel comfort, because of all the noise. Also last night he slept 4 hours straight. I slept 2 of those hours.
She made me feel like a horrible parent. Who the hell is she to question how I raise and feed my son? SO is going right along with her.
I'm pissed off and hurt.
Comments
With SO stressing me out about it too. It's a wonder my body hasn't stopped producing milk. Funny when I'm not around SO or his mom. I tend to pump more milk and my LO feeds longer.
At your son's age, they get colic so when he cries like that, colic could be the reason why.
You don't live with her, so she doesn't know what goes on at home. One thing i've learned as a first time mom is that when in doubt, contact my son's pedi because there is no kid out there that is exactly like my son so i cannot compare him and act on that. Don't let ANYONE and i mean
A N Y O N E
tell you that you are a bad parent because that IS NOT TRUE. A mother's instinct is THE BEST!
You are doing wonderful! Be proud!
Sometimes family gives to much advice and don't know when to shut it. Its your son, you have the motherly instinct that special bond with your son to know if something is wrong
Has your SO ever been to a Dr's appointment with you?
@perly: Yes and none of them told me to supplement. Now he thinks he knows it all because the baby drank it and full. He was full before he gave him the bottle. Now I can't trust him alone with our son. Anything to try to prove me wrong. I swear if my son starts throwing up or gets constipated I'm beating his ass.
One doctor questioned about his weight. When our son was admitted to the hospital from the circumcision. I told the doctor that his pediatrician wasn't worried about his weight and that he is pooping and peeing like he is supposed to be. The doctor dropped it but SO took his words to heart.
@jules: Thank you. If it wasn't so late I would've grabbed myself and baby and left. He said because he's the father he has a say so in his feedings too. He thinks our son isn't gaining enough weight so even if I'm BF'ing he wants to give him formula. I swear I will pour that nursery water and formula down the drain or garbage.
Around 5:30AM DS woke up for a feeding. I was feeding him but he sounded stuffy. So I stopped feeding him to clear out his mouth and nose. When DS is stuffy or congested he has a hard time latching and drinking so he was crying. SO was up as well. As I put DS back on the breast he was still crying. SO used this as an excuse that he was getting enough milk. As I finally got DS calmed SO snatched him off my breast and grabbed the previous bottle of formula he had made. A tug of war and an argument started. I told him you don't take a baby off the breast to feed him formula and he proceeds to say "He is my son too. You can't just do what you want to do." It got really ugly from there. He ended up telling me to get the fuck out his house and stormed out the room with DS and proceeded to feed the rest of the formula.
I'm over here in tears. I have never seen him like this. I'm about call a cab grab me and DS things and go home.
I'm done. There is no coming back from this. Now DS is sleep and my breast feel weird.
Hope the link works. My daughter was 5lbs 11oz at birth and weighed 10lbs and 5 months. Some babies are small. She has always been in the 5th percentile while my other two daughters were in the 95th percentile. My son weighed 5lbs 13oz at birth and he weighs the same as my 2 year old does. 22lbs and he's 1. Different rates for different babies. You have to believe that you're doing an awesome job. Weight is not the only factor that goes into a baby with Failure To Thrive. It must be so frustrating that they don't trust your body to nourish your baby. I would make it clear that you know you're doing what's best for your baby. Anyone who says different is just ignorant!!
BAM!
@debs & starroxox09: I did leave I called a cab and now I'm at home. I let him know I left and text me begging me to stay and he apologized. I told him I need some time to clear my mind and I told him about himself.
@natashalynn
It sounds to me like you're a mother who is trying her hardest...which is the best kind of mom there is.