sorry if im not excited!

desertrose

Agh! Sorry this is more of a vent, so as most people here know I've had 2 babies who passed after birth due to a congenital disorder...well anyways a few days ago my brother and his wife just had a beautiful healthy baby girl and I just can't be excited I feel like a monster! They both spent time in jail durng early pregnancy for beating the hell out of each other and both did meth for more than half of pregnancy and my sil b!tches that her pregnancy was so stressful!?! She did that to herself, God please help me not be so angry! I feel so ugly about this situation...not to mention they both have other kids they don't ever see and just lost their drivers license because they are so far behind in child support! Okay sorry im done

desertrose

Yeah I know that she needs me and I love her so much, and with my other nephews I am the only one they see from our family they don't ever see their parents...im just so mad at them for doing this to her, she has all sorts of problems

BabyKixALot

Vent away, girl! You're entitled to how you feel. I am sorry, and I agree, that baby needs you in her life!

desertrose

I've talked to my mom about it and she gets so mad at me...she says we should give them a chance maybe this is what they need and I just wonder why the other kids they have didn't save them, and I love my mom so much she is my bf but the other day she asked me if I am mad because their baby didn't die! I was so hurt its like she doesn't get it, its not because my babies died that makes me angry with them its because they didn't care enough about their baby to get clean or stop beating each other...she really looks at me like im a monster and I know she loves me but it hurts

[Deleted User]

I'm so sorry I had a best friend I grew up with for over 20yrs. She grew into cigarettes, then pot, pills, meth, heroin, sex. She has 3 children she has absolutely NO idea who the father is for any of them, she is an 'escort', been in rehab a few times, her kids are taken away & she thought doing drugs while pregnant wouldn't hurt, as well as doing them in front of the kids. One day she was home alone with her oldest, she shot up, then passed out...with the needle just next to her. Luckily her sister came over to babysit& caught it right before her child could get ahold of it. So scary! Just know the baby is an innocent soul in the equation. She didn't ask to be here, she will need all the help, love& support she can get. I can't fully understand what you're feeling, but I can be here for moral support. Hang in there sweetie. >:D<

mommy3

): This makes me sad. My best friend just delivered her baby at 20 weeks, he was too big to miscarry, but had died.. & she says people don't understand how important life is & it breaks her heart to see parents act this way, or risk harming babies. She vents all the time to me & I completely understand you. Maybe you should come off with a different approach when talking with your mom.. let her know losing your babies made you realize how fortunate moms with healthy babies are & you hate to see someone risk their babies life just because they can't grow up! Maybe just ask to watch her a lot, keep the peace, and still make sure she's well taken care of without saying or doing things to offend them in the long run, or they'll just keep her away from you.

mommy3

Thank you @twin_angels. My husbands mom & her sister don't get along because their mother takes care of the sisters daughter who is only 4. Their mother has taken care of her since she was born. & his mom knows its hard on her mom for being almost 70 taking care of a 4 yr old. So his mom stepped in & threatened to have the little girl taken away to live with her. & her sister completely took her daughter out of his moms life. Up until this year, they wouldn't even go to family gatherings around each other & his aunt told his grandmother if his mom was coming around, she is to be called so she can get her daughter. It was a horrible situation. So please for the sake of the little girl, keep quiet & just be everything you can be for her!

pne6411

Getting pregnant was their chance, them not changing through the pregnancy was the prood they didn't deserve it. Get that little girl! Don't give them the chance to screw her life up with theirs. They can't support them selves, they can't support her! A precious childs life isn't anything to take chances with, period. What if they start beating each other with her around, or are doing drugs when she starts crawling and gets ahold of it.
Never know, they* may be thankful if you do.
My fiances parents did it with his sister (adoptied actual cousin) and they all are appreciative,

mommy3

@pne6411 makes a valid point, but sometimes its not always easy to get custody & can get ugly. Just be careful with the way things are handled so they don't take her out of your life completely.

pne6411

That's true as well, maybe have a private convo with them. Offer help, inform them if they don't accept the help or make a change you will bring a higher authority into it to see to the childs well being?

desertrose

Ty all, I really needed to feel like my feelings were valid and that im not a monster to feel so frusrated with these two so called adults, the live in a different state so I rarely see them but the first sign of them messin up I will be on a plane I have put them n notice told them I love them but hate what they are doing to themselves and their kids I don't want any extra drama I just feel like someone needs to step up for this baby, it seems like everyone in my family has forgotten the fact that these two are druggies and beat each other

pne6411

She can't stand up for herself, so in the mean time someone needs to stand up for her. Your not a monster you're smart for not wanting a child to be put through that.

artistmamma

Honey, you have EVERY right to feel angry, hurt, & concerned about your niece. I've heard other stories about moms who were shooting drugs during pregnancy, & I just cannot imagine how a woman can do that. I've had two miscarriages & know so many women who would LOVE to be a mom, & can't due to health or infertility issues. It's heart-breaking. It does seem like there's no balance in this world when someone like you has two beautiful little angels pass away, but your sis-in-law can do Meth for half of her pregnancy & still deliver a healthy baby? Just know that you are NOT a monster for having these feelings; they're perfectly natural for anyone in your position. All you can do is keep a close eye on your niece, & ask trusted family members to do the same. The first sign that anything is wrong, get child protective services & your own attorney involved. Meth is a terrible addiction to break & stay clean from...it may come down to you needing to step in & make sure your niece has a good home & safe environment to grow up in. Whether that's with you, or any other family member. Best of luck, & feel free to rant & vent all you need! We support you!

desertrose

Ty so much