Can anyone give me advice who understands?

divamommy

Im 21 and pregnant with my first baby but often times I feel so overwhelmed and scared. I just want the best for my baby but I dont kno what that is being single and a student.

Firstly, I never saw myself being in this situation tht Im in with the father. We were never together and I didnt intend on ever being with him, we just got drunk one nite and I got pregnant. When I found out at first I had mixed emotions. On one hand I was upset that he'd gotten me pregnant but on the other I was very excited. I have MS and there was always the posibility that I was infertile so news of the pregnancy shocked me. I knew I couldnt go through with an abortion so I figured that I would just take care of the baby myself without the father. I have support from my family but I feel like no one really understands how I feel.

I just want the best for my baby but I dont kno if I can take care of him the way I desire and that scares me. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed I can hardly breath or relax, I just dont kno what to do. I guess im thinking about adoption now because I feel tht someone else may be able to give him a better life but I dont think I could go through with that either, I love him so much already.

katlilly

I was 19 when I got pregnant. I'm 28 now w my second. I never finished college, I worked hard and moved my way up the ladder. My daughter has everything she needs and lots of what she wants! She's happy and I feel I was successful. You're in school, probably close to finishing. If you have your family's support, you can do this! I don't know you, but from what you said about fertility I feel like you would deeply regret giving your baby up if you're unsure if you could conceive again when you were ready. It looks like you really love this baby already. Talk with your family only you and them will know best for you. I hope this helps you! You sound very sweet and I wish you the best!

casnleslie

I was 21 and a student with #1 and was on the outs with daddy. I found out the day I moved back home. It sounds like you want what is best for your baby and you would be it. I had a good friend that did an open adoption with her first and that's an option. Whatever you decide there is support on here. I know it's scary and it might be rough at first but kids give you motivation you never thought you could have. Just remember everything happens for a reason and good luck.

mommysBabygirl

Divamommy. I'm in the saame exact situation as you. Exactly the same! I'm 21 28wks preg w first n I'm single. Me n the babies father were just old friends, well his sister n I were best friends. I haven't talked to her since I got pregnant she moved out of entries n tries to contact me but I'm hurt because her bro is an asshole it males me hide out cause I'm embarrassed. Anyway he comes over every now n then but doesn't help w anything I don't want to ask for help n I don't see us being together. I decided to keeep my baby because when I was 16 I had major problems w my ovaries n irregular periods I had more than 3 blood transfusions n always had cists the doc wanted to remove my ovaries at 18 he said I'd nnever conceive or if I did I'd be in dangr. So far I've been the healthiest I ever been and haven't had any difficulties. God has a plan for all of us! If were single its cause its a special plan this kid will be your best friend. If its a boy than trust hell be the one to nevert hurt you if you teach him the right things about love! You'll be alright

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divamommy

Thank you guys so much for your advice, its been very helpful. It nice to hear positive input rather than people saying "thats just something you're going to decide." Mommysbabygirl we are really similar it seems, I've known the guy since high school and he was only nice @ first because he wanted me to get an abortion. But I dont even want to talk to him I just kno that my son will need to kno his biologoical father so I told him I would contact him once the baby is born. I really dont care about the father I just want to kno that I can take care of my baby. I know that this baby is a blessing, he's been keeping me so healthy. He does motivate me already to do better and I belive I can, I guess I was just letting negativity get to me.

magcaw

I have never been in your situation, so I can't say that I understand, but I CAN tell you that, even if your timing were perfect, you would still be unsure of yourself and your ability to be a good mother. Everything about motherhood teaches you humility, and you will be constantly second guessing yourself and your choices-we all do. But, to be honest, aside from the basic necessities like food, shelter, and clothing, kids need remarkably little to be happy. Especially little kids. If your biggest concern is not being able to give your son the things he wants, I promise you, that's unimportant. If you are concerned about not being able to provide the necessities, that's a different story, but you can find help with that, too.

AmyMae

You ladies are so strong, I don't know if I could do what you girls are doing. I think things will work out.

AmyMae

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mommysBabygirl

Well my name is Erika ill be your friend I kno it can get lonely.. (:

AR1020

Hey divamommy I'm in the same boat as u. One night of drinking and I end up pregnant. My bd is trying to convince me to get an abortion but I refused. I also told him I would raise this baby with or without him. I know things will be tough but I know it'll be worth it. I never even wanted to have a kid but here I am at 24 ready to be a mom. I know u will make the best decision for u and ur baby. Good luck

Kmose77

I agree fully with Magcaw, no matter how perfect you Plan things out. You will always have doubts. And will always face challenges. Nothing ever works out just like we plan with having kids! But we love them and do the best we can to learn and be the best parent we can be. That's what keeps them happy. My kids would rather spend hrs just playing around with me then all the toys in their rooms.

gladiator007

If your baby's daddy doesn't want to be involve with the up bringing then make sure he can at least help you out financially. With the support & help from family, I'm sure you can do it on your own especially once you see & touch your baby for the first time. Googd luck