problem with husband!!
Ok so my husband leaves for work 4 days out of the month. And its always hard with my two kids and one on the way but other then that I never give him crap about it but the last time he came home I looked in his phone and found pictures of naked girls and I freaked out are fight was so bad I was lucky my baby was sill in me. I asked him why in the world he was looking at naked girls online and he told me it was because he was board what!!! I have never felt so insecure and down in my life I feel so disrespected and now its going to be time for him to leave again and I'm getting so angry I don't want him to go and act stupid again I wouldn't be able to deal with that again. Give me some advice please!!!! Thanks lots.
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Now granted, he and I are very open with each other, if it ever bothered me I know he wouldn't do it, just as I would never do anything that bothered him. But I'm fine with it. *shrug* Its natural behavior to be drawn to beautiful people, naked or not, as long as he's not out screwing the world or taking pictures of real women naked, who cares if he downloads some off the internet.
It may help you both to sit down and calmly discuss this issue. Let him know how insecure it made you feel to know he was looking at other women, and ask him how he would feel if he were to know you were looking at other men naked. Explain to him how you feel disrespected by the fact he would choose to do something that you (may have) told him in the past made you uncomfortable. Try to work out a compromise. For instance, if he has to go away for work, and he is choosing to look at these pictures for masturbatory purposes, why not propose flirty/dirty text messages or phone sex with you instead? It may sound silly, but it is working toward a middle ground. It is very important to have an established open line of communication and a set of clear cut boundaries, and he may need to be reminded of how you feel about certain things.
I know not everyone will share my openness and comfortableness with the subject, and I respect individuals like @Kingsmama who have worked through the issue to a compromise with their significant other. I believe that you should NEVER be intentionally made uncomfortable by your SO's actions, because if they do something they know will upset and/or make you uncomfortable, they are showing you a great deal of disrespect. In this case for @cfa, it is her SO looking at naked women. If they have set boundaries or discussed this issue in the past, then she needs to again restate her points in a firm, calm manner.
And there comes a point between a healthy fantasy life and an addiction. I support moderation of things, but the moment it becomes an obsession, I draw the line, even with something I am comfortable with (such as this). If it is borderline obsession, the couple may have a problem, and things need to be immediately addressed.