@jalem yes you can tell her to stop texting and that if she does not stop you will call the cops on her for harassment. Sorry for delayed response it was dinner time. You can also file a temporary restraining order until the dna test has been done.
@jdensma if it is his baby i will deal with it... for the past few months i have been nice and have not said one ill word to her and have just tried to get her to get the test and i already said if she doesn't want me in the picture then i will stay as far as possible while the baby is there but im getting sick of it... im pregnant and i can be a big B**** ask my bf but i dont want to be mean...
I'm sorry I wasn't clear before. What I meant was that you should def tell her to leave you alone, I just wouldn't be speaking for him. He should def tell her to pack sand until she's ready for a test. I just think it would be more believable to her if he's the one to keep saying something abt the test. If you just have it to where all he says to her is to get a test, & just those words, there's no way it will mess up custody. As long as he isn't threatening or abusive, he'll still be able to see her if she's his.
@littlefae the thing i worry about is if it is his baby him/me filing a harassment charge against the mom kinda looks bad in my book like he didnt want to see the baby... and its ok about the time im used to it alot of my things dont get answered because of the time difference... 3+ hours just for california.. and a restraining order is useless concidering we are in different states
@kriss82001 thank you. ill think of a nice way to tell her to stop messaging me and continue having my bf to tell her to leave him alone until she gets the test were tired of her beating around the bush. and he is the least abusive person in the world... so im not worried about that...
@jalem oh sorry I didn't know you were in another state so much was said inbetween posts that I kinda skimmed. And it wouldt make you look bad, just keep a record of all the texts and phone calls and phone messages and legally he does not have to do things for a child that has not be proven his especially since she is married if the husbands name is on the birth certificate its the husbands duty to take care of the child. He can even be held responsable for child support and not your husband. The temporary restraining order/harrasment charges just shows she was being harrasing towards you without providing proof that the child is his. And it remains in place until the court ordered dna test in which case you just go from there.
@littlefae ok thanks so much you cleared that up... im just worried i dont want to be the reason he is not allowed to see his baby so im walking on eggshells with this whole subject... and i honestly can say i hold no ill will towards her the only thing is the messages today are like curses on MY baby... "i cant believe you would have another little girl. you dont deserve to concidering you left your first. tell your "girlfriend" to be careful its only a matter of time b4 you leave her too." <--- word for word what she said...
No prob. He def didn't sound like the abusive type, I just know that's what judges look at. I'm always arguing with my sons' Dad because his new wife tries to tell me how to raise my children. I think its best to keep discussions like this between the bilogical parents. I talk about opinions with my man, but only I talk to their Dad about things about the boys, & its just a lot less of a hassle that way.
@kriss82001 i honestly dont care either way whether the baby is his or not and i wont be playing mommy for her if she is but i want him to have his rights because i personally would hate if i had a baby and was kept out of it's life against my will... but that might be just me.. because i see a lot of ppl on here saying to leave the daddy and stuff like that (not a bash just statement of what i read) and i dont think i could ever do that.
@jalem no probably like I first said she sounds bat crazy and is just trying to start trouble. Just look into getting the court ordered dna test you might have to pay for it but they don't cost that much depending on where you're at. But it sounds like it needs to be done just to figure out what is going on and either get her out of your life or figure out the child support and custody...which your man might not have to worry about if her husband signed the birth certificate anyway.
I didn't think you were coming from that angel at all. I'm having a hard time communicating properly these days, sorry! I was just saying that its good to set the precedence now to be like that. And there's no way she can try to keep the baby from him because of you, if that's one of your fears. You always come out on top.
My brother jus went thru this with his ex. You can take her to court on grounds of harrasment, and while in court mention she's refusing to get a paternity test but also won't leave you alone. Since the stress is bad for you, it won't be looked on lightly. They will force her to take a test, even if she can't afford it, the court has financing options. When its a case of harrasment it would be on her not ur bd. and if its not ur bd's they will demand she leaves you both alone. If it is your bd's they can go through the whole thing then and there and arrange for a custody agreement before she makes it ugly. Cuz if he's willing, as long as he has baby part time, he won't be forced to pay child support. And as long as they can't prove abuse. Better to get it all over with. But I agree with others, she obviously knows its not his if she refusing to get tested, n she just don't want u to b happy. So if she still texts u or calls him n its unwanted, send her a message explainin you will handle it in court if she refuses to willingly, measures can be taken to temporarily block her number too, which would pplainly show during court it is a matter of harrasment. Good luck hope that was helpful
@littlefae well whether she's crazy or not we need to find out because it is starting to drive us crazy...lolz... @kriss82001 well im glad that they cant do that because i would hate for that to happen.. @tami101711 thank you soooo much (sorry for all the o's im just trying to express my how thankful i am) it's just really hard to make a harassment case when youre 3712 miles away from the defendant... but im gonna look into that for when we go back to tx if she still does it...
My fiance ex is phsyco! Calls his moms messages his family and him online..... he blocked her I blocked her from all internet went to police for electronic harrassment and the police have called her twice now to tell her to leave us alone See my fiance has full custody and she's been gone for almost 2 years so he told her if she wants to see her daughter she needs to file visitation through the court. There is way more to the story but you get the point. Basically we have changed our phone numbers twice between that and the police things have been quit for acouple months..... but I know we will be hearing from her crazy ass again. Her phone calls and messages to us and his family were about how he cheated on me. But she is dumb dates don't match up and she is trying to start crap. Not working my fiance and I cut all ties unless she goes to court period!
Basically if he feels at all its his child then he should make the move go to court file paternity. If not then drop her and eliminate her from your lives unless you hear something from court wanting to establish paternity she sounds like drama and trouble....
Yea its hard his exs mom has visitation once a month and we had to make it very clear weather good or bad we don't want to hear about her daughter. Period.
Sorry about the vent on youtr vent but I can't stand his ex or her hillbilly ass family Daughter always comes back reeking like cigarettes her hair even clean clothes... yuck!
@ghettobetty we are going to do that as soon as we go back to texas but she only contacted us again after we left the state... we waited for her to do it for two months and we werent very legally smart nor did we have much money so we did not try on our own... so as soon as we get back she can expect a big fat subpoena on her door step...
it's ok... feel free to rant to me all you want i know what it's like my ex had custody of his daughter and when her mom would take her i would get calls from my friends saying she was at a bar and baby wasn't with her... as much as i am happy my ex and she are out of my life i worry about the baby///
I have an older brother who has a 3yr old daughter but he has been divorced from the bbymomma for over a 2yr& a half. Anywho, after months of being divorced they began to be sexually active again and sometime in the ends of january she gave birth to a baby girl claming she never knew she was pregnant. First thing in my brother's head was this kid is mine but all of a sudden she said she had also slept with a random guy around the time that is believed she got pregnant, so here comes the doubt. How is it that you never knew you were pregnant but you can almost swear my brother is not the father? My brother went to court and told them that there.was a possibility that bby could be his and he wanted to know so he could start paying child support. They made a court appointment and sent her a letter stating she had to show up so she did and the paternity test was done. Came out negative. She.then confessed that she had denied him the paternity test cause she knew the bby wasnt his cause she knew the whole time she was pregnant. Pretty messed up, but I dnt judge her... I know I would have been scared too if I was in her shoes. Maybe my brother's story helps alittle towards getting answers and peace. I know it must be stressful
@jalem I am not sure what state ur in but I from NY and to file for paternity is free I made my husband do it with a woman he got pregnant while we were separated. It a hard issue to deal wit in my case the child liked liked mom but certain features I new the child was his but he had doubts because her current bf told my husband it wasn't his and in angry moments she said same
So don't be afraid to go to family court worrying bout her marriage she didn't care bout Her marriage when was screwing ur bd back then and she don't care about causing drama in ur life now I go through plenty drama wit his bm on daily basis get ur sanity back I know it can get ur mind stressed sorry if I was too blunt
Thats what I thought but I didnt comment much about it, my family and I kinda just stepped aside and let him do what he thought was necessary. We only said something when he asked for advice, and I had alot to say cause honestly I dnt like the girl lol but I controlled myself cause I know either way she is the mother of my niece and I love my niece (the 3yr old) and I know if it was the other way around I would at least like respect. But back to you, as you can see your husband can ask for a court appointed paternity test in Texas (i live here thats why lol) and she'll have to show up just like my brother's bm.
You are not required to tell her anything. Sometimes telling someone to stop is almost a provoking invitation for her to get worst. What I would do is ignore the texts and have your bf do the same.
Go to Child Support Services and ask them to get a state issued supeona for a DNA test. Also, real talk, the main reason she's probably pressing and yet doing nothing is because she was probably married already during conception or sleeping with him - thus explaining the fast marriage or she trapped him.
If she divorces with no test on file, it's automatic child suppot from hubby. If she's wrong, she faces the music with him, loses any support he's giving and has nothing. If she does it after, she wins either way, regardless of how hubby might feel, bcuase she has a court order for support that wouldn't be overturnd until the results are in AND presented to the court.
It's not the test she can't afford....it's the divorce without a child attached she can't afford.
Comments
@keylanieq yeah that is what i wonder about every time she messages or told us no about the test
@mommy2_armani thanks for the advise... i just dont know how to say it without risking him not being able to see her if it is his
You can also file a temporary restraining order until the dna test has been done.
And it wouldt make you look bad, just keep a record of all the texts and phone calls and phone messages and legally he does not have to do things for a child that has not be proven his especially since she is married if the husbands name is on the birth certificate its the husbands duty to take care of the child. He can even be held responsable for child support and not your husband.
The temporary restraining order/harrasment charges just shows she was being harrasing towards you without providing proof that the child is his. And it remains in place until the court ordered dna test in which case you just go from there.
@kriss82001 well im glad that they cant do that because i would hate for that to happen..
@tami101711 thank you soooo much (sorry for all the o's im just trying to express my how thankful i am) it's just really hard to make a harassment case when youre 3712 miles away from the defendant... but im gonna look into that for when we go back to tx if she still does it...
See my fiance has full custody and she's been gone for almost 2 years so he told her if she wants to see her daughter she needs to file visitation through the court. There is way more to the story but you get the point.
Basically we have changed our phone numbers twice between that and the police things have been quit for acouple months..... but I know we will be hearing from her crazy ass again.
Her phone calls and messages to us and his family were about how he cheated on me. But she is dumb dates don't match up and she is trying to start crap. Not working my fiance and I cut all ties unless she goes to court period!
Daughter always comes back reeking like cigarettes her hair even clean clothes... yuck!
@jdensma thanks...
You are not required to tell her anything. Sometimes telling someone to stop is almost a provoking invitation for her to get worst. What I would do is ignore the texts and have your bf do the same.
Go to Child Support Services and ask them to get a state issued supeona for a DNA test. Also, real talk, the main reason she's probably pressing and yet doing nothing is because she was probably married already during conception or sleeping with him - thus explaining the fast marriage or she trapped him.
If she divorces with no test on file, it's automatic child suppot from hubby. If she's wrong, she faces the music with him, loses any support he's giving and has nothing. If she does it after, she wins either way, regardless of how hubby might feel, bcuase she has a court order for support that wouldn't be overturnd until the results are in AND presented to the court.
It's not the test she can't afford....it's the divorce without a child attached she can't afford.