abandoned and angry
Hi all,
Well I am now just 8.5 weeks preggers and let's just say the father is not too happy. We have known each other for 4 years. We have dated, seriously dated and broke up a few times. He has been my emergency contact, my best friend and my lover for quite some time now. We broke up early in 2010 and I will admit, it was hard. I loved him with all my heart...somehow we found ourselves back together. With us, it always seems to happen like magnets. Well, this time...I didn't want to catch feeling and go down the same road. I made it clear to him that I did still have feelings and couldn't go down this road again if he didn't. Well, flash forward and he moved in. He rented his house out and asked if he could stay with me (temporarily, so he said). I said yes and then he never looked for a place. He moved in nov 1st. Things were going well...we even joked of me being pregnant when my boobs started growing. Flash forward to the day I will never forget ´dec 19th.
I was 2 days late (and I'm never late) so I took a home pregnancy test. Turn positive right away... so here I was...pregnant at 34 for the first time ever...I told him and he was not a happy camper.
He wasn't happy. He pushed and pushed abortion on me saying it was the other right thing to do....I got him to back off by speaking with his family. They seemed to talk him down from the you can shove abortion in her face so much tree.
So, we did spend christmas together...but on Friday...he wrote me an email...in it it says that he never wanted to marry me and that he never saw himself having kids with me. That he doesn't think us having a kid is a responsible thing to do. That he doesn't want to stay and he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me...(sorry, committed relationship) but none of this was said to me until after I was pregnant. He is trying to spin words by saying he didn't say I was the one. He is a 36 year old boy.
I have cried my eyes out, I have yelled and in the last two days I have just plain gotten angry. He says he 'wants to be friends' and wants a relationship with the baby when she/he is born...but I don't even want to speak to him anymore. His sister is telling me I have to let him take me to the drs and be involved, but I don't know how to even look at him. Every conversation has ended with him yelling at me....calling me irresponsible for continuing with the pregnancy and telling me how much he doesn't love me...who wants to talk to that person?? Not me. I have asked him to stop being negative and to not abandone me. He is still doing both.
I can't sleep at night and I feel like an afterschool special only twice as old... this is my worst case senario...I found this forum and decided it sure couldn't hurt. I hurt so much and I feel like I'm spinning. He freaked when I didn't want to see him....but why would I ? You don't get to abandon someone and them come arond for tea do u? Plus, he wants to be free to date other people. How can that even be on his mind? What is wrong with him? I feel like he should stop looking for the one and start looking at the fact that he misled us here. He shows no remorse, doesn't even apologize for abandoning me, but want to be there as my friend. I feel like if that's a friend, who needs enemies. Several of my gfs, said kick him out...but his sister is saying that for the baby I have to get along with him. I have refused seeing or speaking to him until he has seeked help with a therapist, because frankly his actions are sociopathic. How does he not even show remorse? Just anger.
I know I will make a great mom, but I never pictured it as a single mom since I've been so careful all the years. I loved the guy and he walked away...could u be friends? Should I just say fuck off. What would u do?
This is very long...I know I just wanted to get the whole story across. Thanks ladies.
Well I am now just 8.5 weeks preggers and let's just say the father is not too happy. We have known each other for 4 years. We have dated, seriously dated and broke up a few times. He has been my emergency contact, my best friend and my lover for quite some time now. We broke up early in 2010 and I will admit, it was hard. I loved him with all my heart...somehow we found ourselves back together. With us, it always seems to happen like magnets. Well, this time...I didn't want to catch feeling and go down the same road. I made it clear to him that I did still have feelings and couldn't go down this road again if he didn't. Well, flash forward and he moved in. He rented his house out and asked if he could stay with me (temporarily, so he said). I said yes and then he never looked for a place. He moved in nov 1st. Things were going well...we even joked of me being pregnant when my boobs started growing. Flash forward to the day I will never forget ´dec 19th.
I was 2 days late (and I'm never late) so I took a home pregnancy test. Turn positive right away... so here I was...pregnant at 34 for the first time ever...I told him and he was not a happy camper.
He wasn't happy. He pushed and pushed abortion on me saying it was the other right thing to do....I got him to back off by speaking with his family. They seemed to talk him down from the you can shove abortion in her face so much tree.
So, we did spend christmas together...but on Friday...he wrote me an email...in it it says that he never wanted to marry me and that he never saw himself having kids with me. That he doesn't think us having a kid is a responsible thing to do. That he doesn't want to stay and he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me...(sorry, committed relationship) but none of this was said to me until after I was pregnant. He is trying to spin words by saying he didn't say I was the one. He is a 36 year old boy.
I have cried my eyes out, I have yelled and in the last two days I have just plain gotten angry. He says he 'wants to be friends' and wants a relationship with the baby when she/he is born...but I don't even want to speak to him anymore. His sister is telling me I have to let him take me to the drs and be involved, but I don't know how to even look at him. Every conversation has ended with him yelling at me....calling me irresponsible for continuing with the pregnancy and telling me how much he doesn't love me...who wants to talk to that person?? Not me. I have asked him to stop being negative and to not abandone me. He is still doing both.
I can't sleep at night and I feel like an afterschool special only twice as old... this is my worst case senario...I found this forum and decided it sure couldn't hurt. I hurt so much and I feel like I'm spinning. He freaked when I didn't want to see him....but why would I ? You don't get to abandon someone and them come arond for tea do u? Plus, he wants to be free to date other people. How can that even be on his mind? What is wrong with him? I feel like he should stop looking for the one and start looking at the fact that he misled us here. He shows no remorse, doesn't even apologize for abandoning me, but want to be there as my friend. I feel like if that's a friend, who needs enemies. Several of my gfs, said kick him out...but his sister is saying that for the baby I have to get along with him. I have refused seeing or speaking to him until he has seeked help with a therapist, because frankly his actions are sociopathic. How does he not even show remorse? Just anger.
I know I will make a great mom, but I never pictured it as a single mom since I've been so careful all the years. I loved the guy and he walked away...could u be friends? Should I just say fuck off. What would u do?
This is very long...I know I just wanted to get the whole story across. Thanks ladies.
Comments
Why he don't see his wife got a baby?
And thanks for advice
Lol. He put abandoned in quotes. He still doesn't get it. I'm not a door. He did abandon me and the reason I'm focusing on it is because it just happen...oh and he did. Doesn't change that he broke up with me after I was pregnant.
I'm sticking with my no contact rule. I don't even think he deserves an email back.
Thank u all for your support. I need the fellow pregs
many people are single parents, and it sounds like you're a strong person! I believe you can do it!
@amymae funny, I blacklisted the one 'friend' who was playing both sides and I text myself everyday to not contact his sister, him or the exfriend. My friends only...and of course all you fabulous ladies. Truth be told, I wish I had stopped talking to him when he first suggested the abortion...instead of trying to get him to stay. He is not worthy of my love! I find myself to be so much more at peace with him not here. Freeing really!