Just wanna be clear I'm not trying to offend or cause an argument I just always like to look at all sides of things. I'm not criticising anybody's beliefs or push my opinions on others just trying for a healthy debate. :-)
I hate topics like this, because imagining the situation and actually being in it are two very different things. I don't think you can say how you would really feel. I'm pro-choice and I can't say whether i'd ever be able to have an abortion or not, but I know that I'd want the option to decide for myself.
We had a semi open adoption. I did hold him at the hospital. But I only stayed one night. I begged them to let me leave. We sent pictures and lettes back and forth for about 6 months but it got too hard for me. I had to stop communication. The best way I.know how to explain how I felt about my son when I gave him up is the story line of lord of the rings. I felt like frodo and my son was the ring. My dear friend Sheila was like sam. My son was "the precious" infinantly valuable and destructive in my heart at the same time. I would never be able to heal my heart unless I let go of my son. The night I came home I actually cried so hard I couldn't breathe and called the BD. He told me I had to sleep. He said even if I have to sing the flintstones theme song to distract myself I had to fall asleep. So I cried and sang the flintstones til I fell asleep for about 2 hours. It was a rough first night.
@laura536 but in my case my baby I'm preg with NoW is cuz of a crap situation, and I didn't abort.......... Your right tho, none of us can truley say unless we've been there and did or didn't abort......
@I_anaya I honestly don't know what I'd do either. I think if my life was at risk I wouldn't continue with the pregnancy but I wouldn't live with it easily and I would feel incredibly guilty.
@mama0811 ooo sorry if I offended anyone by this post. I was just tryin to get diff perspectives.
Everyone is entitled to their own decisions wether people lik it or not. We cant do anythin about it either, so no point in arguing over it.. I don't see anythin wrong w having these discussions. It wasnt ment to offend anyone.
@mama_underpants there's like a bad situation and then there's your absolute rock bottom. Like I'm trying to imagine the original situation to answer the OP, but I just can't imagine a point in my life when I wouldn't have my family or someone to fall back on.
And then, I've watched my husband struggle with getting and keeping a job for the last 4 years (he's paid for two different schools now and worked a ton of temp jobs) and he's just now starting as a truck driver and is on his second job since January and he's a healthly male...so I can't even imagine how difficult it would be as a homeless female to support myself.
So it's easy to say, i'd get a job and get back on my feet and raise the baby. I mean duh, of course you would. But if it were that easy, then everyone would do it and it's just not that easy.
@blissmarie23 I cant imagine th pain But at least you know your son has two loving parents. Oh I had a question... If you are single are you able to adopt ?
In certain places single women can adopt. (I've never heard of a single father adopting. ) I actually have a friend who's a single missionary in Peru (I think) who adopted a little girl. They ate doing GREAT! Its been a real blessing to both of them.
@mama0811 although I never intend to offend I always try and be honest and open. If i offend anybody I would apoligise but wouldn't withdraw anything ive said. If i get attacked for it so be it, I can deal with it and i dont get pissed or upset or attack back. If i truely feel anybodies been unfair to me ill defend myself but never in a harsh way. Nobody can help he way they feel so I have objections to people voicing how they feel. I just have to hope people understand that.
@gatorbob tht's an interesting pov. I think if most ppl went thru being REALLY fertile to struggling w infertility they wouldn't want to do tht anymore bc they get a chance to deal w both sides & not take carryin a baby for granted. I recently heard a woman bein addicted to abortion and constantly gettin pregnant to abort. I think she was on her 9th abortion. o=>
I think ppl should do wat dey want its not for everybody but den everybody can't live wit the fact of knowing their baby is out there not knowing wats happening n not being able to be involved as a mother...I could do neither but I'm me! N then to ppl say "woman up" abortion is the easy way but how is letting sum1 else raise ur child stepping up?? I think adoption is a beautiful thing everybody can't jus have a baby not tryin to offend nobody jus dnt understand b/c they have to live with their choice not anybody else so y criticize them?
@angieahrens I seriously considered having an abortion and at one point decided I was going to but I didn't think id be able to cope mentally or physically. I think you're very brave to be so open about it and I don't think anybody should judge you, or anybody who does or considers snorting. At the end of the day its your body, your life that's going to change either way and your choice. Nobody else really knows your situation so they have no say in what you do.
I dont believe in abortion so I personally would never abort but I dont judge those who feel that is the only option for them everyone is different and have different life circumstances. I woudnt jump and call someone a murderer if thats what they choose. Its their life thier choice their conscience.
I personally dont agree with abortion but ive never been put in the situation were i've needed to think about this, but @angieahrens well done for telling your story, only thing with abortions i dont agree with is when you get like people who constantly sleep around no protection then run straight to clinic for abortion
If it came down to it and my life was threatened by being pregnant or if you could tell the baby was going to be horrifically deformed and never be able to live a happy life due to some form of horrific birth defect (im not talking like extra fingers or a goiter or something like that im talking more or less brain growing on the outside no chance of survival or its internal organs are growing on the outside and it could live like that...) I would get an abortion. money issues isn't enough to make me get an abortion, its enough to contimplate it but not to carry threw with it. something would come along and help out in the end like it always does at least in my situations it does. OR if I were under the age of 12 then abortion would be (IN MY OPINION) the best option in a case like that rather having a little kid destroy a body that hasn't even developed. I'm pro choice and its just my opinion I don't put ppl down for being pro life by anymeans i can see where they are coming from, i just believe that there are certain circumstances where it would almost be necessacary.
I would only if I were raped and was not far into my pregnancy or if the pregnancy put my life at risk. Sorry but I have other kids that I need to be there for..
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Your right tho, none of us can truley say unless we've been there and did or didn't abort......
Everyone is entitled to their own decisions wether people lik it or not. We cant do anythin about it either, so no point in arguing over it.. I don't see anythin wrong w having these discussions. It wasnt ment to offend anyone.
And then, I've watched my husband struggle with getting and keeping a job for the last 4 years (he's paid for two different schools now and worked a ton of temp jobs) and he's just now starting as a truck driver and is on his second job since January and he's a healthly male...so I can't even imagine how difficult it would be as a homeless female to support myself.
So it's easy to say, i'd get a job and get back on my feet and raise the baby. I mean duh, of course you would. But if it were that easy, then everyone would do it and it's just not that easy.
But at least you know your son has two loving parents. Oh I had a question... If you are single are you able to adopt ?