Am I wrong for not wanting...
the baby's father involved?
I'm not trying to get revenge or anything. To wrap it all up though once i stated that i did not want to be with him anymore after being 2 months along he pretty much started claiming that the kid isn't his YET he was living with me for 5 months already and not paying for ANYTHING. And he STATES that he isn't going to do anything until he gets a DNA test done. & everytime we talk about the whole pregnancy he cries and complains about how this is going to ruin his life and he can't get with a female now because of this kid blah blah blah ... as if he is the only one who has to sacrifice here and as if getting with a female is more important then his own kid. But anyways i did invite him to the ultrasound that determines the gender and once again he whines and complains about the baby. And i tell him i just need a simple yes or no. He says no. i ask why? & he says because idk whether it's mines or not. Then i begin to ball my eyes out. It just really hurts to know that i was completely faithful, committed, and truthful to him. I treated him like a king and this is what myself and OUR child gets in return? I'm crying as i type this because he's making me go through this all alone because he doesn't want the responsibility of a kid. UGH! But anyways after the ultrasound where i found out the gender, i told him that WE are having a girl. He replies back with " : ) " ... like seriously?! A smiley face?! That's it?! So then i reply back just asking if he would even like to be informed when i go into labor ... he didn't even reply back : ( I just feel horrible for my daughter. & at the end of the day he knows this baby is his he just doesnt want to take responsibility for it. He's also threatened me with taking full custody if i file for child support ... like thats going to ever happen
But i guess the real question is that once the DNA test is done should i even give him another chance to even step up? I feel as if he see's our daughter as a problem & I dont want him coming back in and out of her life. But i feel as if i have already given him enough chances (there are way more besides the ones i've stated above) and that just because she is physically here, to him at least, doesn't mean he can suddenly jump up and be father of the year all the sudden ya know?
Idk i just want to see if my feelings are reasonable about this whole situation.
I'm not trying to get revenge or anything. To wrap it all up though once i stated that i did not want to be with him anymore after being 2 months along he pretty much started claiming that the kid isn't his YET he was living with me for 5 months already and not paying for ANYTHING. And he STATES that he isn't going to do anything until he gets a DNA test done. & everytime we talk about the whole pregnancy he cries and complains about how this is going to ruin his life and he can't get with a female now because of this kid blah blah blah ... as if he is the only one who has to sacrifice here and as if getting with a female is more important then his own kid. But anyways i did invite him to the ultrasound that determines the gender and once again he whines and complains about the baby. And i tell him i just need a simple yes or no. He says no. i ask why? & he says because idk whether it's mines or not. Then i begin to ball my eyes out. It just really hurts to know that i was completely faithful, committed, and truthful to him. I treated him like a king and this is what myself and OUR child gets in return? I'm crying as i type this because he's making me go through this all alone because he doesn't want the responsibility of a kid. UGH! But anyways after the ultrasound where i found out the gender, i told him that WE are having a girl. He replies back with " : ) " ... like seriously?! A smiley face?! That's it?! So then i reply back just asking if he would even like to be informed when i go into labor ... he didn't even reply back : ( I just feel horrible for my daughter. & at the end of the day he knows this baby is his he just doesnt want to take responsibility for it. He's also threatened me with taking full custody if i file for child support ... like thats going to ever happen
But i guess the real question is that once the DNA test is done should i even give him another chance to even step up? I feel as if he see's our daughter as a problem & I dont want him coming back in and out of her life. But i feel as if i have already given him enough chances (there are way more besides the ones i've stated above) and that just because she is physically here, to him at least, doesn't mean he can suddenly jump up and be father of the year all the sudden ya know?
Idk i just want to see if my feelings are reasonable about this whole situation.
Comments
@Simplyraven22406 : Yes! It is better said then done. I remember looking at other women like leave that man alone ... if he ain't going to do shit don't waste your time. And now look at me lol! But i ultimately do it for my daughter. Its just hard to give up b/c my innocent daughter doesnt deserve this but i guess he see's it differently. But best believe ... i can not wait til the day that DNA test comes back and proves him wrong.
Team Pink!!! ( even though i hate that color lol )
@OregonMama : That's EXACTLY how i feel. He even told me one time that i need to calm down because the baby isn't physically here yet. & i said what do you mean by that? She has a heartbeat, she moves around, she hits and kicks me, she makes me sick, she won't let me go to sleep sometimes ... she even had hiccups during the ultrasound that determines the gender. She's definitely here to me & he doesn't want nothing to do with her now ... so why should i even give him the chance to become involved when she is born ?!
@OregonMama : EXACTLY! Shoot i can not wait! I am just waiting for when i see him after he finds out. Imma just start breaking out in laughter! & lol thanks! I plan to do well with my daughter ... i just hope she is all that she can be w/o her punk dad.
@bbylucasMomma : I'm sure there is too! I know there is : ) & see ... thats what i don't want to happen. Your dad is a good man. & i would never try to keep my child from their father that tries to be a REAL father. I have 3 older sisters that my dad has tried to be there for but the women wanted revenge and wouldn't allow it one bit. And growing up i have seen firsthand how much it hurt him. Now that they are grown though, he still makes an effort to be involved with each and every one of them. Its just unfortunate that he couldn't do that all before.
@mrs_shu : No I would never try and prevent him at all. I just really don't want to wait to see what he does really. Because i don't want to give him the chance too & he continues to do the same thing that he does now. I guess I am more scared of giving him even more chances and getting hope and then being shot down.
@Mybabe : lol now that's better! Yet the funny thing is everything i have bought for my daughter is either completely pink or has pink in it lol
@KrazymomofAdrian : I try my best not to be ... i mean i see why SOME females are like that. He shoulda been there from the beginning which means the night of conception to me lol but hopefully he does step up to the FULLEST extent that he can once the baby is here. Its just going to be hard on my part because during these past few months he's been living it up like a stork is going to show up one day to present the baby to him and that nothing has to be done or taken care of before the baby gets here. But i am currently 24 week & 6 days. My EDD is Oct. 28th which is still a few months away. But i can't wait to see her either :-D
@Josiahsmommy : See now you are one of the lucky few! lol But yes ... I do plan on giving him a chance but i don't like that one bit after all this crap he has been putting both her and i through but that's ok. I do it for her at the end of the day. & thanks! I wish he saw this baby as a gift and wanted to experience this pregnancy up close too. I mean this baby is his first and he's going to miss out on the whole pregnancy at least because he doesn't want to take responsibility of the baby. It's so important to me but i guess not to him. and thanks ... i really do feel better!