Imo if your not head over heals in love with either of them you shouldn't be with them anyway, baby or not. So don't put you or your kids through a bunch of stress for a woman that isn't your soul mate!
As far as seeing a belly in the shower when you had only been with her 3 months... No disrespect but are you sure its yours? Maybe I just have the timeline wrong or something but I had to ask.
It's great to see you be more concerned about your kids then anything else!! You know in your heart what's right so just go with that
This is my situation. I had my older child wit a man that was less than ideal and we didnt have a relationship but was friends pretty much all our lives. So i got pregnant and had my baby in aug. Right after i had our baby i found out he had a gf and wanted to take my daughter with him and her. Well thats a no no in my book. If he wanted to take her thats one thing but i dont want another woman around my child especially at the time she was 16 and how is a 16 year gonna play house wit my baby. So a few months later in oct or nov i get a text from what i think is my bd except it was a new girl telling me she was pregnant with his baby. Good for you hunny i wasnt wit him so i didnt care. But at this point he wasnt taking care of business wit my child and ended up being there every step of the way for this girl. That pissed me off a lil more than id like to admit. So he then decided he didnt wanna be a dad to my daughter but was always there for his son. The next year she was pregnant again and then the following year the same. So they break up now he wants to be a dad to my daughter and have us all be amicable. It will never work because i hate and well she has no reason to hate me other than me being his first childs mother. They prolly will never get along. Woman are very catty no matter how mature we like to say we are.
Now that I read on, it sounds messy. If you dont really want to be with either don't. Probably the best solution. Now the belly at 3mo that's weird. She must be super skinny right? Have you gone to her appt to make sure her pregnancy is time appropriate with your relationship?
your wrong if your playing both of them and feeding them lines of bs.. however.. if thats the case and your indecisive about the two of them you really should try being single .. cause no one deserves to be led on if your feelings arent that strong for them.. but for God and your childrens sake .. wrap it up.. i dont think you need to invite any more dramma into your life and your life is not your own anymore so.. every decision you make can and will effect your kids life
My brothers first bm n second bm cant get on one bcoz 1bm is too immature and just the other night she ran out in front of my bros 2bms car WITH MY NIECEE IN HER ARMS ! So u never ever kno they sorta got on at first but my bros daughter loves her step mum more then her mum so 1bm dont like it now
i think that of u are think or even talking about being single maybe u should just be single, u seem like a good guy just no there are boundrys for the moms to keep with the other child, they will act how u act if u fav on bm over the other they will see and feel that and ull end up in court,
Things are a bit messy, true...but, nothing I've done is or has been malicious.
I'm not playing them...
I have one GF...& she didn't live with me when I noticed she was prego...I saw her about twice a month, for a couple of days...or she'd come over while I was already asleep..(she got off work late & lived far)
...BM #1...is a great person & I do care for her...I just understand our intimate relationship chemistry is conflicted..I remain confident of her potential to be a good parent..I just hope we can figure out a way to fix our issues before the baby comes...because, I do want to be a part of raising her.
A little background on me:
Married once Divorced in '06..wife didn't want kids..
..I've been single and dating since..
I've tried a few relationships...but honestly...my ex-wife was my "soulmate"...my GF now is the girl I get along with best..I don't get bored or tired of her...yeah, I kinda have to "coach" her to do as I need, but..she is younger...so I expect to.
Those who suggested counselors or mediation...GREAT ADVISING!!!...I completely overlooked that option...I get so caught up in keeping people out of the "business"...LOL
Thanks for all the input...my 1st baby will be here soon...and that's when I'll attempt getting them to meet a mediator, with me...
...and for those who wonder why they like me...LOL...for some reason...I have yet to figure it out!
What a sticky situation. Well your not bad for having two baby mamas. My husband has two, me n another. But my baby daddy (of my newest baby, who isn't my husbands, loooong story) has three baby mamas! I found I was preg when his other baby was just like 3 weeks old! But he told me to abort if bc he didn't want three kids.....so at least your man enough to take care of your responsiblities.... needless to say I haven't even seen my baby daddy since the day he told me to abort......and my beautiful daughter is 13 days old cute name btw!
...yeah...its sticky...but, as adults & parents..we have to look for solutions..not, just identifying problems and complaining...
I can't take back what I did...I can only take responsibility for my actions...and move forward.
...and if either BM wants to be un-involved...they have that option..I'll be more than happy to be a single dad...and they can have visitation...I gave up my marriage on the hopes of having kids..so...its important to me...and even more important that the kids spend time together...
...lmfao...I've spent months trying to figure this out...& ..its still contingent upon my BMs actions..she's gotta let me be that father & not hold our personal issues against me...
i highly doubt that they will ever get along! i didnt get along with my sons fathers gf so when he wouldnt leave me alone i told him it wasnt his. and he hasnt been around ever. be single! sounds like the better plan to me
Idk how to help u with ur situation but I just have to commend you its really amazing to see a father admit to his wonderful mistakes (I say that cause a child is a blessing weather planned or not) and try to find a solution to be in both lifes weather it means being single or not...... I applaud u Idk if its where I'm from but I been here in Wisconsin for almost 6 years and my bd the only one that I know take care of his kids
...well...I'm far from a perfect man...but, I will do my best to be a perfect dad...& anyone that's seen me around kids...knows I was born to be a dad...
*I'm from California...Oakland/San Francisco Bay Area...btw
...I just wish my BMs could get along, because it would help me..to be a better provider & father...I'm sure I'll need some help..and honestly, keeping the babies away from one another would be plain..flat-out evil...and mean...I'd fight about that...
I didn't go through and read all the comments but have you thought about setting both down to have a mature grown up conversation with both and set boundaries and let them know what you expect and how you can all compromise?
Yeah..I'd love to sit them down & talk it out...LOL...but, BM #1 is of Latin descent...& a character trait for her particular ethnic origin is meanness...she's a fighter...we all have our flaws...but, she's difficult to talk to...especially if she doesn't agree.
...once the baby comes, I'll be more adamant about them meeting...& discussing possibilities.
yeah, i would be pissed off if i was you if my bm's didnt let my children interact with each other! but for some reason i dont think they will ever get along but thats when the court gets involved and you either take one or the other to court to make sure that you get your visitation so that you make sure that your children are close growing up and whatnot. thats what i would do if one refused my child to me because i wasnt with her.. my hubby said the same thing.. that if he was in your situation that he would just make sure that if the two bm's arent going to get along than he would take em to court. best of luck tho dude thats a hell of a situation!!!
Ryleighs daddy has 4 boys and their b*tch of a mother doesnt like me BUT i'd b damn if she thinks she is going to keep those boys away from their sister.. siblings deserve to b around eachother as much as possible. ur bm's need to think of the kids and not themselves.. if they dont want one another another their child than be single and have both kids the same days of the week..
Comments
As far as seeing a belly in the shower when you had only been with her 3 months... No disrespect but are you sure its yours? Maybe I just have the timeline wrong or something but I had to ask.
It's great to see you be more concerned about your kids then anything else!! You know in your heart what's right so just go with that
Things are a bit messy, true...but, nothing I've done is or has been malicious.
I'm not playing them...
I have one GF...& she didn't live with me when I noticed she was prego...I saw her about twice a month, for a couple of days...or she'd come over while I was already asleep..(she got off work late & lived far)
...BM #1...is a great person & I do care for her...I just understand our intimate relationship chemistry is conflicted..I remain confident of her potential to be a good parent..I just hope we can figure out a way to fix our issues before the baby comes...because, I do want to be a part of raising her.
A little background on me:
Married once
Divorced in '06..wife didn't want kids..
..I've been single and dating since..
I've tried a few relationships...but honestly...my ex-wife was my "soulmate"...my GF now is the girl I get along with best..I don't get bored or tired of her...yeah, I kinda have to "coach" her to do as I need, but..she is younger...so I expect to.
Those who suggested counselors or mediation...GREAT ADVISING!!!...I completely overlooked that option...I get so caught up in keeping people out of the "business"...LOL
Thanks for all the input...my 1st baby will be here soon...and that's when I'll attempt getting them to meet a mediator, with me...
...and for those who wonder why they like me...LOL...for some reason...I have yet to figure it out!
* : p
...yeah...its sticky...but, as adults & parents..we have to look for solutions..not, just identifying problems and complaining...
I can't take back what I did...I can only take responsibility for my actions...and move forward.
...and if either BM wants to be un-involved...they have that option..I'll be more than happy to be a single dad...and they can have visitation...I gave up my marriage on the hopes of having kids..so...its important to me...and even more important that the kids spend time together...
Ok...I don't feel bad now...LOL...2 BMs is nothing...hahaa!
&...thanks...I thought liberty & justice would be cute names... : b
...lmfao...I've spent months trying to figure this out...& ..its still contingent upon my BMs actions..she's gotta let me be that father & not hold our personal issues against me...
@MrsG
Yeah...I'm kinda screwed...LOL
...keep your fingers crossed for me...
*and I love the pic with the dude in the "wave cap"...bka the "Du-rag"...lmao!
(yaaaay! for mixed couples)
Idk how to help u with ur situation but I just have to commend you its really amazing to see a father admit to his wonderful mistakes (I say that cause a child is a blessing weather planned or not) and try to find a solution to be in both lifes weather it means being single or not...... I applaud u Idk if its where I'm from but I been here in Wisconsin for almost 6 years and my bd the only one that I know take care of his kids
@MrsG
Representing "chocolate men" all over the U.S....lol
*Bay Area Boys do it best...
@vayanna
...well...I'm far from a perfect man...but, I will do my best to be a perfect dad...& anyone that's seen me around kids...knows I was born to be a dad...
*I'm from California...Oakland/San Francisco Bay Area...btw
...&..
@baby2dec14yayy
...I just wish my BMs could get along, because it would help me..to be a better provider & father...I'm sure I'll need some help..and honestly, keeping the babies away from one another would be plain..flat-out evil...and mean...I'd fight about that...
Yeah..I'd love to sit them down & talk it out...LOL...but, BM #1 is of Latin descent...& a character trait for her particular ethnic origin is meanness...she's a fighter...we all have our flaws...but, she's difficult to talk to...especially if she doesn't agree.
...once the baby comes, I'll be more adamant about them meeting...& discussing possibilities.
@MrsG
...Last time I visited the South...they knew my name...from GRACELAND...all the way down "95"..
...lol...jp
*kinda...Mississippi wasn't so friendly...haahaaa!
best of luck tho dude thats a hell of a situation!!!