@island_mommie2b ok maybe you took.that the wrong way but I wasnt referring to EVERYBODY & not once did I say I was. I said MANY ppl..not ALL ppl. If you are not in that category then you have no need for concern. Sorry if I offended you! That wasnt my intention. But I dont think it was rude at all when its simply the truth. I didnt say anything negative. I just dont think its right to judge ones "sins" if you have some yourself. Im not saying thats you.
My husband and I are expecting #1 & 2, twins. We were together 5 years before we married. Married in Oct 2010 and preggo by Jan 2011. They were unplanned but we had decided if it happened it happened for a reason and we were ready to start a family
With my son i got pregnant my first time at 15 years old my step mom left my dad and he was in and outta jail- mom wasn't around. Son was born 2 weeks after my 16th bday. My lil man is 6yrs old now and my pride and joy, I tried to make it work with his father for security reasons but left him when my son was 5mos old. I met my DH when I was 17, we seen each other off and on, in march 2009 I had a m/c. In dec 2010 we got engaged, planned wedding for jan 2011, found out I was pregnant with dd in oct 2011 went thru with wedding (its more than a piece of papee to me- we made vows and in front of our friends & family and its legal to the state.)i've been in college since 2006 and have always had a job and provided for myself and my child. Now when I was 10 wks prego with my dd I wasnt allowed to work, and job let me go- so I've been financiallu dependent on hubby since last nov. Now though with both kids I love my life! I'm proud to be married, own a home, and I get to spend time with my children, finish my degree and keep up with mu home. I'm sure age is also a factor but I enjoyed the pregnancy and birth of my daughter much more.
My first child was planned but my situation wasn't good. I thought it was but my sons dad ended up being abusive. So I was a single mom. I love my son and wouldn't change anything but I shouldn't have had a child with the person I did. Then I met and married my now husband and we planned this baby a girl due November 20th. my husband is an amazing step dad and will be an amazing father to our daughter.
My BF & I have been together for almost 5yrs with the intention of getting married waaay later. Right around our 4yrs I got pregnant. He was more ecstatic than I was lol bcuz he'd been talking about wanting a kid soo much in the next couple of yrs! I was strangely depressed for about the 1st few mos after I found out I was preggo bc of my own personal/insecurity issues. No way in hell I was gonna get an abortion either (we are both financially, physically & mentally ready anyway) But I got over it (my insecurity issues lol) & now I am damn excited about our son's arrival! It's nerve wrecking, but we have a great relationship & both our fams are extremely overly-supportive so we feel we're definitely headed in the right path! Now I can't wait til we get married in a few yrs! :-D
Marriage isn't anything big to me. We are bound together by this baby. We are still a family. A piece of paper doesn't mean anything. It's the commitment that person shows for you. Not a paper or a ring.
@pnsw524 I really like the way you have continued to conduct yourself in this post. I think you've remained respectful while sharing your thoughts.. And I just thought you deserved to hear it!
@smcox if I have a baby with someone that means I'm committed to them. I don't play that mess. Have a bunch of babies by diff dudes. Wth? But my commitment to that person is having a baby. You can walk away from a marriage just like that.
@lilbun915 thank you I in no way was setting out to make people upset, even though that seems to have been the outcome. I just honestly wanted insight into other peoples lives and thoughts on things! I in no way feel I am better then anyone because I was married before i had children! I am all about doing whats right for you, not what other people think is right!
When I found out we were preggo with our first I jokingly (but 1/2 seriously) said to my bf (now husband) I hope you like me cause now you're stuck with me for life! Lol!
Being married in the UK isn't important and no one judges u for not being married. Guessing its a different culture to the US? I've been with my guy for 5 years and have no marriage plans!
my husband and I were dating for 4 months and we got pregnant. Wasn't sure how things were going to work considering we had a long distance relationship *3000 miles apart* I lived in philly and he lived in seattle. When I told him the news about our first he got a job transfer to philly right away, got an apartment together. We didn't get married until our son was 2. Now with our second she was planned. We actually moved to Tacoma *35 mins south of seattle* and we *including my son* are very excited about Lillan's arrival nov 22nd!!!
Mine was but wasn't I didn't think I could have kids so I took out my bc and let nature take its corse now me and my husband are awaiting our little girl in November
I can't say my pregnancies were planned but my husband wasnt pulling out and i wasn't on bc. Even after my son was born he still wasn't taking any safety measures and netheir was I. And I'm pretty sure when this baby comes he is still not going to 'pull out' we have been together for 4 1/2 years and are married
It's curious how the most judgeiest (yes, I know that is not a word) of SanctiMommies (most of whom were preggo with their first at the time of this discussion) have now (since the birth of their firstborn....so this obviously doesn't reference the OP) found themselves in a position to be judged by other mothers.....on topics such as formula feeding perhaps? Or "natural" birth? Let me say, I am a HUGE breastfeeding adVocate, but my Mommy-BFF formula fed her first (of 3)....and, she'll be the first to say that I have NEVER said anything negative or judged her in any way. However, back when this thread was started, some of those SM's (sanctomommies) who implied that my BD's love and devotion for our children and myself was less valid because we weren't married, have now made parenting decisions (store-bought formula feeding perhaps?) that place them in the miNOrity of some of the main points of contention among mom communities. I don't need an apology, but I hope that these "women" have gained some humility and are more willing to support other mothers as opposed to bashing.
To the pro-marriage crew: I never recieVed a legitimAte answer when I asked "if a marriage is all about standing up in front of God and everybody and pledging your love for one and other, why not just have the ceremony" (i.e. what was your reasoning behind the legal marriage license?")
@math_mommy I don't agree with the whole churchy part of the marriage..but then again I don't really believe in God. So it seems pointless to me. When my fiance and I do get married it won't be in a church and I won't be in front of God. We will have the people that are very close of us, but not to "stand up" in front of them. We just want them to be a part of the moment.
My husband and I have been married 14 years we planned my son. We knew things would be tight because we lost my income and my husbands would not stay over the road long haul. We went from thousands a week to not that much at all. But I figured 10 years of shelling out 15000-20000 grand a year in taxes the government should give some back. We plan on another soon. We have a house and reliable car so we aren't having kids we can not feed. We just don't do what we want when we want.
im not married! have known my bd for 7/8 years and have been together as a couple for 3 1/2 years! our first was kind of planned we had spoken about trying soon and it happened before we had even finished plannin for it! im now pregnant again and it defo was not planned but were happy and wldnt change anything! i defo dont think u need to be married just because u have a child:-)
Comments
@math_mommy @excitedforoctober @everyone
To the pro-marriage crew: I never recieVed a legitimAte answer when I asked "if a marriage is all about standing up in front of God and everybody and pledging your love for one and other, why not just have the ceremony" (i.e. what was your reasoning behind the legal marriage license?")