I wish he could feel this pain.....not about pregnacy VENT

Kells32Kells32
edited September 2011 in Pregnancy and fathers
I met the father of all 3 of my children when i was 16 years old, started dating when i was 19 and i married him at 25. I am now 33 seperated for the 2nd time from him and pregant with our 3 child a baby girl. He went down a very dark path of drugs alcohol and music......not to mention not being faithful and never knowing the meaning of it. I have gone thru physical emotional, financial verbal and pretty much every other kind of abuse you can think of with him. He looking back was never faithful to me. With out the internet and cell phones it was just much harder to catch him when we were young. I have done everything i can do to try and articulate to him how bad it hurts me for him to do this over and over and over again. Everytime he says he understands but somehow theese women keep popping up.....and some new ones. I left him back in May of 2010 and knew i would never go back, well even though i got drunk at a company Christmas party and wound up meeting up with him the same night and now sitting here in September of 2011 9 months pregnant with his baby. I have recently tried to at least make things civil almost on a friendship level.........Even though we are not internet friends (not friends on facebook and we don't follow each other on twitter) i still check his FB because he tends to drink a lot and i can usually tell if he's on a binger or on the wagon by seeing his page and it helps me deal with him and coordinating with the kids. But i keep seeing comments from women who he has cheated on me with that i have gotten apology after apology from him about!!! I just dont understand why he just won't move on with one of them??? He is the most self serving person i have EVER met in my life!! talk about having your cake and eating it too!! I realize that being the better person and not acknowledging his behvior (at least to him) and continuing with the divorce is going to be my only sense of peace trough all of this, but i just wish for one second he could feel the pain i feel everytime one of their names or profiles pop up into my sight. sorry if none of this makes sense but i had to get this off my chest:(
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Comments

  • blueberrysmomblueberrysmom
    Why on earth are you bothering to follow him on facebook? Unfriend him. Anyway, he's not going to feel the pain you feel cuz you didn't treat him like sh*t. Move on.
  • Kells32Kells32
    @Blueberrysmom just that easy huh?
  • blueberrysmomblueberrysmom
    Okay. I didn't say it was easy. From your post it sounds like he is inconsiderate and hurtful. Good luck to you. I'll keep my opinions to myself.
  • dmacieldmaciel
    I know it suck but belive karma will come back to him one day and stay strong I know its hard to look on fb and see females wright to him and as much as u don't want to look u just can't help it just try to force urself not to look at it and keep ur self busy so we won't be on ur mind as much
  • Kells32Kells32
    @BLUEBERRYSMOM you can give all the opinions you's like as long as there are sincere and not in judgement of someone. This is a forum for people to be uplifting not to feel better about them selves by making othere people problems seem simple and easy to answer. So if you can't do that or elaborate a lil on your point then maybe yes keeping your opions to your self then.
  • Kells32Kells32
    @dmaciel i hope so the biggest problem is that he is sooo manipulative and sneaky that it is sooo hard not to fall into his trap of and let my self ove closer to him. He really makes me sick. My biggest fault is that i am loyal to the death. I HATE IT but once you are in my life you very rarely leave it. i know in my mind i should of cut ties with him but it is a lot easier said then done.
  • Jess510Jess510
    I know how hard it can be. You just want him to change his life so you two can be together. The fact of the matter is he won't change until he is ready. Try and put all your attention into your kids or find a mr. right now to get your kind off of him. Doesn't have to be mr. right.
  • Kells32Kells32
    @oregonmama @blueberrysmom you guys are funny....you think your so profound right? by saying it's just that "easy".......when it is definately not. And your right this is a public forum so i shouldn't expect intelligance or understanding from everyone that responds.
  • Kells32Kells32
    @jess510 i am definately headed down that path, I have a huge mountain to climb but i know i am strong enough to do it!!! I don't beleive he will ever ever change....he is evil and i have to remeber that even when he looks like an angel.
  • mommy2b1111mommy2b1111
    I guess @Kells32 didn't get the memo about forum rules. @Mama_Kat may b u should nip this one in the bud before it gets outta hand.
  • Jess510Jess510
    Take a deep breath girl! I have been there and gone through that. I'm fortunate enough that at 30 and 8 years after I her my hubby he has changed. I went through every abuse you stated. its Easier said then done to just leave. Try for your kids. I'm Here if you need to talk.
  • Kells32Kells32
    @mommy2b1111 @Oregonmama are guys bored today or what? this is my post if you dont like what's being said then don't look at it..... problem solved.
  • Jess510Jess510
    Not her met*
  • mommy2b1111mommy2b1111
    Hahaha ur so beligerant its funny
  • sissylalasissylala
    IM BORED!! twister, anyone??

  • momof5momof5
    Its not going to be easy and none of us are saying that it will be. But block him on facebook. Stay outta his buisness and let him move on with his life. Get a court order for him to visit with the kids. Don't talk with him at all. Hope for the best for you.
  • Kells32Kells32
    @jess510 thank you for understanding.....i realize that to some people life's problems have just short and sweet answers but if people are really listening it's not that i need an answer of what to to do, I am looking for guidanceon how to deal with the emotional pain, which is much harder then any physical one you can endure. I know not looking at his FB page would be a smart thing to do....but like i said in my original post if it was just about the women i wouldn't, but he tends to post a lot about his drinking habits and so on so i do it more for that reason. I can't lie though it does make me curious about when he acts one way around me and then turns right around the same night or day BAM a post from one of his groupies!!
  • Babynewyear2012Babynewyear2012
    @kells32 You are right it is hard to leave. I stayed in a relationship like that for many years before I got strong enough to leave. It really does only make things feel worse to be on his facebook because that reminds you that he will not change. It seems like you know that already. The love you have for him and your children makes you want to keep up with him. I really dont think that arguing with @blueberrysmom or @oregonmama is going to make it better. He is a POS that doesnt deserve you or his children. It is hard but once you realize that it will not do anything but make you stronger to just be a momma then and only then will it make it easier. Good Luck momma, focus on your babies and not the man that doesnt matter. The ladies on here are just trying to help you realize you are stronger than you think.
  • sissylalasissylala
    *spins* left hand on blue!

    We've all had our problems and they WEREN'T short and sweet while we were dealing with them. No one is discrediting your pain, but what exactly are you expecting as a response? Those of us that have been there and know the ultimate outcome are trying to save you the added grief we went thru by telling you to cut your losses.. ooorrr you can go another decade complaining about the same ol shit you continue to let him do to you...

    @oregonmama... your turn!
  • sissylalasissylala
    @oregonmama... haha! Your head is inn my butt! ... <3 ... that's a fart..
  • mommy2b1111mommy2b1111
    Not looking at his Facebook should help with the emotional pain. Just make sure you monitor him around the kids.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    edited September 2011
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Babynewyear2012Babynewyear2012
    @mrsg That is what I was trying to say. I dont know @blueberrysmom much but she means no harm to anybody at any time. I love my friend @oregonmama to death and she means no harm either. They are truly great women! I hope @kells32 realizes they mean only the best.
  • TishJ330TishJ330
    Ok, my two cents. You seem angry, hostile, and bitter and have decided to vent and attack in the wrong place. Stalking his Facebook page is getting you what kind of satisfaction? All you're doing is pouring salt on wounds that only you can let heal. To attack @blueberrysmom who said the first logical thing, shows you obviously are at a point where you don't want to let go of the pain. Because @oregonmama, chose to agree, now she's bored and unhelpful? I think not. Don't ask for advice, help, or sympathy then turn and attack. I think all of this anger and venom is better suited for the POS, that inspired this vent. Now do yourself a favor, quit stalking his page, and take his ass to court.
  • sissylalasissylala
    @babynewyear2012... what about me?? Nevermind. I may mean a lil harm :/ ... twister? Your spin!
  • sissylalasissylala
    @tishj330...!!!!! Yayyy!!! You've joined the party!! Did you bring taco bell??
  • Nikki091511Nikki091511
    Wow...im 34 y/o ...9month with my 3 ...been with him for 15 yrs...left him when i was 4 month with this one...im not his friend on fb, twitter, or Ms...my life so much like your...but i cant be his friend..cus friend dont do that to friends...it still hurt but i can do bad all by myself...the more u find the more it going to hurt...if u search u find..so stop looking (SO DELETE,unfriend,unfollow)
  • TishJ330TishJ330
    @sissylala, Taco Bell for you during a game of Twister?!? Perish the thought! You've shown that stray farts break out at any moment. Right @oregonmama lmao?!?
  • Babynewyear2012Babynewyear2012
    @sissylala you know I love you! Sure we can play twister but I am flexible now, no pregly belly anymore :(

    Spin: right hand green
  • sissylalasissylala
    @tishj330... HAHAHA!

    @NIKKI091511.. I say that all the time! ... I can do bad all by myself... Hehe CLASSIC!
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