what if he wouldnt marry you?

edited February 2012 in Relationships
How long would you stay with your man if he's not trying to marry you? Would you continue to just be his "girlfriend/babymama" for years or would you leave? Seems like you can give a man everything under the sun & its still not enough sometimes. I'm just curious on about what you ladies would do?
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Comments

  • I have been with my boyfriend for 6 1/2 years. I am 32 weeks and he shows no interest in getting married:(
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  • Guess I'm staying for now, but I would like him to ask within the year after the baby is born.
  • edited February 2012
    I told my husband when I first met him lol if hes not tryna b in a serious relationship then he need to go find himself a different female. I let him know that I was tryna get married & have a family from the gate & if he wasnt with it then I wasnt for him lol. We got married after 4 yrs. Got a promise ring on our one yr anniversary. Conceived Nyla after 7 months of being married :x it will b 7 yrs on Oct 29.
  • Depends if the other person is happy, some people are content being together forever but not married. I would want to be married though and depending on both peoples ages and how long you've been together you should talk about it and make sure on the right page otherwise your wasting both of your time.
  • I don't know, I've been with my fiance for 9 years. We have two kids and I'm 33weeks pregnant. He proposed about two years ago. I'm the one who doesn't really care about marriage not him. If we do I want a small wedding...I hate being the center of attention and really feel terrible about my body I refuse to get in a dress...lol. So, I am content with what we have. This coming from.a family who was big on church and marriage. My parents are on 37 years married. All my aunts and uncles are the same, all going on at least 20 Plus years together. None of them.ever divorced. I don't know what it is but I just feel like we are both committed to each other...neither one of us have kids with anyone else. I guess I don't feel marriage would change too much for us. We were gonna do justice of the peace once my son was two but now I'm pregnant again so we are gonna wait a bit.
    Def to each his own, I do think marriage is a great thing...right now tho for us I have his commitment and he mine:)
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  • @My2boys we have been together 3 yrs. He says he will propose to me one day. Idk how long I'm suppose to wait for "one day" but I do know I'm not satisfied with just being a baby mama. He says he doesn't understand the rush...and me on the other hand doesn't understand y there isn't a rush. If you know you love someone and only want to spend the rest of your life with them..well I don't see what else matters. Just my opinion.
  • Is he in school waiting to be done first or wanting better job? Some guyswa t to make sure they can provide good first. How old are you both?
  • @My2Boys nope hes not in school. Has a good job. He said it wasn't the money. He just "doesnt see the rush"
    We are both 22. I understand that may be young but I don't see how age matters. Maturity is what's important and age doesn't always determine that.
  • @nylasmommy I told him the same. I guess he didn't take it seriously.
  • I wonder that too.. we only.together 2 yeats n have talked bout it.. his parents n sister r always kinda tryna force us to get married ..when I was preggo I told him if my bby is 1 && we not married then I'm leavin..but I dnt feel that way anymore.. Im not ready either...I'm almost 22 & hes 25.. so well c.. wen my heart says its time n hes not with it..then ill leave.. but for now id rather just get to know each other even more...
  • Well my husband and I got married at 22 but we were both ready. Maybe he just needs more time, it doesn't mean he doesn't want to marry you though. I would not force it on him though since your young I would wait, you should trust what he says if he says he will get married. Maybe ask him about a long engagement?
  • I put myself in the man's position. If you're serious, committed, live together, have children, have sex...why WANT to get married? If the cow is giving away the milk for free, who wants to buy the cow? Not all men are that way, but many are.

    However, I would let it ride out for a bit- then leave. I don't have time for that.
  • @naliibby2 see my heart says its time but he thinks there shouldn't be a rush. When we were talking today I said the same thing...1 year..but he looked at me like I was crazy & said u was trying to rush. In a year it will be 4 years for us. I don't think that's rushing anything. I just feel like..if you don't wana marry me then you're wasting my time.
  • If he isnt willing to get married... Then I would never, but since he said he will propose eventually I guess thats better then nothing. there are some ppl on pregly who say there man will never marry them & they are ok with that. However, that also to me just says I want to leave & have no problems with that happening!
  • @captivated you're right. Guess I screwed myself. Lol. But at the same time...I don't understand why a mans mind works like that. I mean im getting all the stuff he is. He gave ne milk for free and I still want the cow. (if that made any sense)
    Im like you...I don't have time for all that either. Life is short. If you can't see me as your wife then I can't see you in my life.
  • Me & hubby were 22 when we were married, but I was the type of person who wanted to ve married before kids. We are now expecting our first in june in aug we will celebrate our 2 yrs!
  • @babyluv8 I wanted to get married first also but it didn't happen like that
  • Haha! I think its because we are emotional creatures and romanticise life more than men.
  • edited February 2012
    I told my husband from the get go that I wanted a serious and long relationship that if he was just looking for a game or a pass time that I wasn't the girl for him. We got married at the age of 19, I got pregnant right after I turned 20 and we are still happily married:). Some people judged me because I was too young to get married and they expected us to break up soon lol but we proved them wrong..
  • R u willing to leave if u just stay his gf/bm
  • I been with my hubby for 7 years still no ring. To me when the mans ready hell ask better to leave it up to him then to rush him when its time its time theres no rush
  • Me and my fiancé has been together ever since high school and it seemed like we was nerve gonna get married. I also told him that if he was not gonna marry me then let me know so I could move on with my life. I was also pregnant at the.time so he had a lot to think about. But the day I had our beautiful daughter he proposed to me cause that's when he was ready. I guess it took him seeing her come into the world to grow up and be a man and do what was right
  • @nylasmommy sure am! I love him but I'm no fool.
  • Ok mans point of view lol. My wife always pressured me about proposing to her and I always backed away. I was in love with her in every single way and knew one day I would marry her but with her hassling me all the time it felt like the decision was being taken away from me. I wanted to pick the time, place etc for when I would do it. I sort of felt if she didn't want to wait then she could do it also, I mean its not the stone age lol.

    Well it took nearly 2 years before I did it from when she started hassling and honestly I waited 12 months longer just to annoy her but I am that sort of guy sometimes lol. I ended up giving her a commitment ring after the first 12 months on valentines day and then about 8 months after I managed to sneak the ring away with a copy in its place. I got it engraved inside the ring with "marry me?". I waited an agonising extra 4 months with her wearing the engraved ring and not noticing the inscription on it before I said anything on the next valentines day. I had to work so I arranged for my sargeant to dress in dress uniform and knock at her parents door as my next of kin, at which point she thought something was wrong but her parents knew. After they went inside I came in through the back door I'm full dress uniform and asked her to look at the inside of her ring. I thought she was going to take my gun and kill me because it had the date of when it was done on it.

    We have been married for 6 years now and together 14 so it can take a while. I know its hard but if you guys are happy together try be patient or turn the tables on him.
  • If ya'll are both happy, committed, and comfortable, don't rush things.. the only thing that's gonna change is you'll have a ring and a piece of paper. An expensive piece of paper, at that.
  • Marriage isn't anything more than rings and paper. If I had to redo it I'd never of gotten married. If things go wrong it makes it that much harder to split.
  • Id love to have a ring, we've been together 2 years have an 8 month old daughter bought a house together, and have known each other since we were in grade 2! But at the same time, our relationship is committed. The only reason for us to marry is for me to get a shiny ring, wear a pretty dress and party hard with our friends. And while that would be awesome its not a priority for me.
  • @mimii36 i was only 19 and hubby was only 20. Where i am from that is normal though. He was against it at first because he comes from divorce.
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