i dont understand why.... ( not judging)

314babymama1120

I don't understand why un married couples would/ are ttc. Im not judging I Just really don't understand the logic behind it. To me having a child with someone ( on purpose) is more of a commitment then getting married so Why are couples chosing to have children but not to marry? I really just don't understand. And insight would be great.

bwhite55019

I'm married but... to me marriage is a commitment to god and some don't believe in god nor marriage

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new_mommy905

My guy & I were ttc, and we weren't married but we knew we loved eachother.. he proposed to me in nov 2010, & I found out NYE I was pregnant so it all fell together nicely lol... not everyones the same but that's my story

ExcitedForOctober

Have u ever heard of the fact that not everyone believes in marriage? Don't mean to be rude but not everyone shares the same beliefs.

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ProudMommie627

Not everyone believes in being married for one reason or another. Wat does a married couple have that another couple cant have? Besides a license n some rings?

Kriss82001

We weren't trying to conceive, but we aren't planning on getting married either. It's a comfort zone thing. I was married before, and he decided that marriage meant ownership, and the license was his ownership papers. So that paper scares me to death, stupid but true. Marriage changes people, and not always for the better. I know we will get married one day, eventually, but it's not high on my priority list. I have issues, and he respects that, and he's helping me work through them. He's an amazing man, and he loves me, and he knows I love him, but I just can't bring myself to take that last step. And as bad as it sounds, just because we have a kid together, doesn't mean he has to be a part of my life other than with the child. If that makes any sense?

NylasMommy

Maybe bc they love each other but didnt want the title. Sometimes couples have a healthier relationship when they r not married yet. I personally was ttc before marriage but it jus never happened for us. But im married now n 15 weeks pregnant n been married for a year

Kriss82001

@ProudMommie627 Tax Breaks! Sorry, couldn't help myself. :-D

[Deleted User]

Some ppl feel that marriage is a piece of paper.

And in all honesty a marriage certificate means nothing now a days if both parties aren't married at heart bc I've seen plenty women husbands up and leave.

Newmommy17

I was with my husband for 6 years and foundout he had been cheating for year. I filed for divorce a month later. I am now engaged and have been with my fiance for a little over 2 years. We were not ttc, I was told I couldn't get prego, but it hapened on its own. I still am in no rush to get married. I could go years without it. Going through a divorce is expensive, emotionally binding, and a pain for those who want to switch their last name back. 2+ years later some of my bills still say my old last name, even though I have sent every proof possible. In my opinion marriage changes everything. I am perfectly happy and don't need a mariage certificate to tell me so.

MorgDeeBee

Personally I don't think you need to be married to have a baby or try to have one. Not everyone believes in marriage but want to be with someone and start a family. My sister has been with her boyfriend for 10yeats with a baby and trying to have another one with no plans of a wedding anytime soon.

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snreda

Love Doesn't need documentation. In life we have one main goal, to mate and reproduce.

jojo30

I'm unmarried and fine with it. We have commited to each other by buying a house together and having children we are both non religious so marriage is not important to us personally and so would not make Amy difference to our relationship. I was never christened (baptized?) And my son and the baby I am carrying won't be either. Marriage just isn't important to me but I understand why it is to others x

bwhite55019

Now bring honest since my hubby and I have been married it has been much harder I would be ok going back and doing a trial run before getting married. And one reason divorce rates are so high is bc ppl think they have to get married if your prego and a lot of times it doesn't work..

314babymama1120

^^ thank you to all for replying and agahn I want to state I am not judging I just want to better understand.

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cinnabon

To marry or not marry before children is usually a religious thing. Since many people believe, but don't follow their religion, it means nothing to them. I don't believe in sex outside of marriage...not just babies...but that's my spiritual beliefs. It I did not follow my religion, I'd just live with my man and be fine. Everyone has a different conscience. Works for some, not for others. To each his own. We have free will.

bwhite55019

Insurance has a lot to do with a lot of marriages but... in Al u can get common law married and be on there insurance

314babymama1120

Oops typo *again * not agahn

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ProudMommie627

Kriss82001 lmao

314babymama1120

I am not religious either I guess I just was taught since I was little " first comes love then comes marriage then comes the baby in the baby carriage" lol. Very happy I am getting so many responses w different view points!

brookiesbaby

Marriage to me just shows commitment on a higher level. It means that they are gonna be your partner in crime for life. I married my best friend and I love it! It will be 8 years this year. I can understand people that don't believe in it though. Everyone has that right.

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bwhite55019

I'm very religious but I can see where people are coming from to me as I said marriage is a commitment to god and I don't see why else you would get married (besides) legal reasons such as insurance benefits etc

jalem

my bf and i got pregnant on accident and because we want to be together for as long as possible we decided not to get married due to the marriage statistics we both feel that waiting a few years for the actual "marriage" would be more logical so that in the case something happens and we fall out of love there would be no need for a court case to seperate things... he and i were friends long before we got together and even if we broke up before getting pregnant we will still be friends... and i dont need a piece of paper for everyone to know that "i am his" because i will gladly shout if from any roof top and i dont know many married couples who can honestly say that..


oh and please if you are replying to me use the whole @ thingy i tend to forget what i commented on...

bwhite55019

I hope I don't offend anyone sorry if I do