sexually assault by husband **update**

For those of you who have been following and wanna know. Im currently at my brother and sister inlaws house occupying a spare room. they dont know the details, but i told them we just need some time apart. husband doesnt know yet, but heres what happened when he left for work.

i didnt feel that was the right time to bring it up since he overslept and was running late. i let him leave and decided to give his dad a call. he lives out of state and stays to himself, but had a good relationship with his son at one point. i felt that i could confide in him. long story short, he told me that my husband went through a trial about 5 years ago. he was accused of rape by a girl he met at a party :O . he had a great attorney and the girl's story had some inconsitencies so he won the case without a single reprocussion. i dont know what to think or believe, but i dont feel hes totally innocent and im devastated. so...thats pretty much where this stands right now. i packed up my kids and we are gone for a little while. cant believe you never know someone *tear*
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Comments

  • Omg that is so devastating I will def keep you and your kids in my prayers.
  • Omg girl!!! Saying a prayer for you right now! I'm so sorry! Please keep us updated!!!
  • I'm praying for you stay strong!!!!
  • Wow. I read your original post and I am floored. Im so sorry you have to go thru this, especially while youre pregnant. I hope you have a great support system and if not, or if you feel the need to vent to an unbiased outside set of ears... im here.. my email addy is lanahare09@gmail.com.. my name is Lana
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  • I'm sorry to hear that. I would definitely get some counceling about this just to speak to someone who is a neutral party. I hope the best for you. Time away might be good to clear your mind and to think and then talk to hubby about your feelings in this situation. But you should talk to someone in regards to this to help give you direction on what to do. Good luck with it all.
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  • I'm sooo sorry hun! That's horrible! I'm glad that you are somewhere safe though, please keep us updated. *hugs*
  • Omgeez! To think...you don't even know your husband! I'm sooo sorry to hear this...i hope you can find a way to deal with it. I send you and your family the best of wishes.
  • :( good luck girly! Hats off to ya!
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  • oh my god....i hope u never go back to him...if he did that to u a and also was never honest about his past i dnt think he deserves u!!!
  • Wow. You are doing the right thing by gettin you and you kids.away from him. Stay strong hunni. God has your back!
  • Definitely did the right thing getting your kids and yourself to safer place. Not every woman is strong enough to do that. I hope you stay strong and courageous for kids and yourself. Know that you are not alone and there is help out there for you. Hopefully you can talk to your brother and ask for help. Good Luck Hun!
  • My prayers to you. STAY STRONG
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  • edited April 2011
    Wow hunni I am so sorry your doing the right thing. I had a similar situation when I was 16 and I over looked it somehow blamed myself for not being a good girlfriend and satisfying him like he wanted and so I stayed and it happened twice after that. And the last time that I couldn't handle it anymore so I left and never told anyone really but you don't need that crap especially not being pregnant. Again I'm so sorry hunni stay strong for you and your babies
  • thanx to you all. this is sooo crazy. i feel like im trapped in a Lifetime Original. he was the absolute sweetest man i ever had in my life. im just so shocked. my older kids are not his. they belong to my first jackass husband that left us in the middle of the night for another woman!! my kids were so hurt. then this man comes into their lives and becomes an awesome father and now this?? my kids lose someone else? i can sure pick em. smh. i feel like an awful mother putting my kids through another trauma. shoulda just stayed single and focused on raising them. this is so unhealthy for them :'(
  • Do not feel bad at all, u had absolutely no idea what kind of san he was and is now. Don't feel guilty, u are being a great mom by getting ur children and ur self to a safe place. Please do not blame his mistakes on ur self. U did not do any thing wrong.
  • Sorry ur going through such a difficult time. God will see u through. Take some time to silence ur mind and listen for His guidance.
  • You are anything BUT an aweful mother! You can't blame yourself for HIS mistakes! If anything, you're a WONDERFUL, COURAGEOUS AND CARING mother to have investigated and taken necessary measures to ensure your childrens safety rather than "sweeping it under the rug"!!!
  • I am very proud of you. Good mommy :) Its not bad of you to get out. You should never regret it. Staying in would show your kids thats its ok or right to hurt or be hurt. Even if they don't know what happened, you are still a good model. I hope everything works out for you and your little family girl.

    Stay strong. :) Kids are strong.
  • Stay strong!!!! We all are here for u. and this was not good for u to go through but atleast your ok.
  • Wow...I'm so sorry. I think you were right to leave, though. If there is any precedent I think you're safer making decisions from a distance.
  • Omg! I'm so sorry to hear all this...Leaving was the best thing you could do...I don't know if I would have it in me to be that strong...Focus on you, your baby & your precious children...That's all that matters right now! I will pray for you & I am proud that you had enough nerve to get out of that situation. No one deserves to be treated like that hun...Your children will one day be able to smile & be proud of their mom for being so brave & standing up for herself:) Stay strong & everything will work out!
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  • I wouldn't worry too much abt the kids. My exhusband came around when my boys were a year old, & I felt horrible for doing it to them too. But a few months after I left, one of my boys said, "Mama, I'm glad we moved, I missed seeing you smile." He wasn't even 8 years old yet, & that's when I knew for sure I had done the right thing. You are a strong woman, & all your kids need is you. Doing the right thing for the kids is doing the right thing for you, & keeping all of you safe.
  • Hunny I hope my adviced helped! Or I should say the hubby's advice. But im glad u are that strong of a woman to leave him for the saftey of your kids! I know of women who dont have the strength to remove themselves or their children from such suituations because they believe that is love. Stay Strong! I may be no one important but I am proud of u for rising above it all! If u ever need any assistance at all please feel free to contact m.e at araizaja21@gmail.com
  • I know that everything that I can say right now has been said, but I feel for you a lot. I just want you to know that we're all here for you....if you want to just talk/scream/cry we'll listen. Fake account or not ;)
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