Really need some advice

imanewmommy06

Soooo since I've been pregnant my bf really hasn't done anything...and it's frustrating and heartbreaking that she will be here in less than a month and i've been doing everything!!....clothes...diapers...wipes...strollers...car seats...etc...so i told him i'm putting him on child support...he got upset...then i told him that she may not have his last name because one we're not married....2 he hasn't done anything besides get me pregnant....our relationship is def on the rocks...i love him too much to let him walk out of my life...but i just have a strong belief that she should have my last name....i asked my best friend..she said i should have both last names for her...i said no thats toooo much and tooo long....i'm lost and confused and would really like some advice...please :-<

Mimii36

I think both last names is a good idea but if yiu dont like that idea then its ultimately up to you.

1stWoodsBaby

I agree with your decision. If I had ever gotten pregnant before I got married I would have only given baby my last name. And especially since he hasn't been involved with pregnancy and relationship is on the rocks, it will only get worse once baby gets here ((usually thats the case)). I think you've made a good decision.

314babymama1120

Give the baby your last name for now Nd if u do get married and go to change your last name change hers too. If u guys do break up she will keep your name!

smcox

I personally would only give her my last name. If he doesn't even want to be involved then why give her his last name.

proudcastromama

I feel ur pain I am married now but I had that dilema and I put my now husband last name
My parents wanted for me to put my last name ...
Ultimately its ur choice what ur gut tells u and what makes u more secure ....
No matter what ur last name or his ur rights will always be put first

imanewmommy06

@314babymama1120 i told him i would change it once things get better...but he doesn't understand that.....

@smcox he wants to be involved...he wants to be a better father than his dad was...atleast that's what he told me...but i feel like u should of started that when i told u i was pregnant....

@1stWoodsBaby after i told him abt the child's support thats when things went downhill...i mean we've had arguements but nothing like this....

would it be wrong if i say "yea i'll give her your last name"....but really put down mine on the forms?...i'm not one for drama

314babymama1120

I do think that would be wrong to do..... no one likes drama but its a part of life. And what is there to understand? Its simple. U are basing your decision off of his actions and behaviors. If he changes those and proves to you he will be involved and also a partner to you then guess what.... child support goes away ( he should be doing it anyway with out being told he has to) and baby gets his name When he commits to you and baby.

MyLittleBlessing

I totally can relate! I've been with my bd/bf for 2yrs and almost 8months and I'm 6.5 months pregant. I'm enrolled fulltime in college and have bought everything, or have been gifted everything for our daughter. And have been looking for places to move in to at the end of this month...

He was supposed to be looking for work and for a car, and he hasn't done either...at all. He has spent the last almost 7 months smoking weed and getting drunk with his friends. And has done nothing really. I'm giving our daughter his last name only because utimately he is her father, and I can't change that fact, and I know he will be an amazing dad...just not financially. I also told him he won't be moving in with me until he gets a job and his g.e.d. cause I am NOT supporting his bitchass and our child by myself! So far he has let 3 jobs slip through his fingers due to laziness and failing a piss test -__-.

imanewmommy06

@MyLittleBlessing i keep flip flopping if i should or shouldn't i would only do it because he's the father...but idk i just cant get over him not doing anything.....i just want our relationship to go back like the way it was...i hope everything works out for u...and i pray i find the answer..i still got a month and 6 days left to think things through

MyLittleBlessing

Yeah, I totally get what you mean about wanting it to go back to the way it was...its hard when I feel like im in this alone. We got in a huge fight last night about it. But honestly I couldnt take it any more. He knows where I stand now and he knows exactly what I expect from him. I was such a b word about it that I made him cry. I felt bad that it got to that point..but it wouldnt have if he had stepped up from the begining. And thank you! I hope you find the right answer. And just remember, there isnt a right or wrong way to go about it. Just do what you feel is right.