@mimii36 took the words right out of my mouth... U dont care that that poor child would grow up without a father? That baby has no fault. But I on the other hand would never be with my bf or any man for that matter if they had a child already.
He told me as soon as this girl found out that she was pregnant that he didn't want anything to do with the kid and that he would sign him away, he didn't care about child support he just wants to forget the mistake he made. The girl calls my boyfriend a dumbass and told me i should find someone else better for my son at one point but now she wants my boyfriend to be his father? Its all bullshit to me. If you haven't been in this situation before then dont call me the most selfish person on this earth, because Im not at all, obviously since I am trying to forgive him. I asked for opinions, not to be attacked. Thanks to the ladies that gave honest understanding opinions, and for the ladies that were straight up rude, you're the reason why this whole forum is drama ridden.
I in no way was saying you were the most selfish person, only that its a selfish thought to want the child to not have his dad so sorry if fI made you feel that way. If he originally wanted to sign his rights over and changed his mind he does have that right. I think when you think about the situation put yourself in the baby's shoes. The mom will say whatever but that's something you guys will have to deal with because after all she is still the baby's mom. My step dad has a shitty baby mama and the drama sucks, but you have to remember the child doesn't understand what happened. Besides you said she slept with more then one guy, so it could be one of the other three's.
@armahnismommy why are you being so mean to.her she came here looking for advice and a place to debt and your telling her to leave HER BABYSITTER FATHER so he can be a father to his mistresses baby. i recall a situation where people were mean to you and your doing the sane to her that people did to you.
@armahnismommy yeah you are. you sound like your telling her to give up on her relationship. you only telling her to leave her man instead of giving her advice you sound really mean. And coming from.someone who was in a bad situation id think you of all people wouldn't be talking like that.
@fwee now in no way am i saying its right for you to demand him to give uo his rights bc as stated above that baby is innocent but i think if you go to counseling you can learn to forgivet him and the child. but its not right for people who haven't been.in your position to tell you what to do. they can say what they WOULD do but all in all were only getting a slice of the story ya know? but i think you should really consider all the people and children involved if you've truly forgiven him then you wouldn't take it out on the child. i think you just need to think about all this and figure out what's best for EVERYONE .
You will never forget... Whether the baby is his or not. Just think, if you guys last... You could be an amazing step mommy to that baby! Two little ones to love! You should ask the other step moms on here how amazing it is. I have a step dad and he has always been amazing to me. No reason to fret since what's done is done. After all, each life is a gift! I hope you can come to terms and accept the new baby if it is his child. The love that kid will have for you growing up will make you smile from ear to ear! Like this I know it might take some time getting used to, but you'll be doing the right thing and you will get a great feeling from that.
I would say be his biggest support, don't give him your thoughts on the situation, let him decide on his own. But a DNA test would help first and yes counseling. I know where you're coming from, there are things I can forgive but can't forget that my hubby did and at times I catch myself thinking about them. The situation is tough but don't push him into what you want and good luck! I hope it works out.
I was afraid that I would be settling for less because he has a child with someone else and cheating myself. But now that everyone thinks that it is not right then I will try to change my view on it. I love him too much to let him go.
People make mistakes. Just be you, and do what you know in your heart is right. Kudos to your baby's father for stepping up. And to you for trying accept the new baby if it is his. Good luck!
I know what you mean about loving too much to let go. I agree with counseling. A counselor won't be biased and then maybe it will help change your view on the situation easier then holding things in and trying to do it yourself. Unfortunately if you stay with him you gotta accept everything that is a result of that action he made because forgiving him is also forgiving there being a baby from it. Its hard because if there had been no baby you guys could forget it and leave it in the past, but just try to move forward and accept the baby (if its his).
I was that child 30 years ago. Both my biological mother and father had an affair outside their marriages and I was conceived. My mom ended up leaving her marriage and raised me alone. She didn't ask her support either. My father chose to go about his life like nothing ever happend and I didn't exist. There is a lot to my story, but to make it short, I wish he had made a different choice. I wish I knew him for many reasons, but most important now is for medical purposes. I have children and I don't know half of my family medical history. I have trouble with male relationships and I think it's given me self esteem issues . Also I hate not knowing the rest of my family too. I have a sister that is four months older than me and I wish we had a relationship. I could go on and on, but please remember that child is innocent and didn't ask for any of this. What's important now is there are three adults responsible for this baby's life and can make it good if they try. Also, I know my mom and dad did what they thought was best at the time, but it's had long term affects I'm sure that didn't consider. If you want to ask me questions, feel free to.
U can always let him know that if his other baby momma starts getting between you guys causing family problems and drama that you don't feel that that is a healthy situation for the family that you guys are trying to build, you won't be able to deal with it. U don't deserve to be unhappy either. Even though you took him back you had no idea it would include a child with her. You can always leave again if that would make a better life for you guys. U can't control him or him caring for his kids but you can control you.
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.... all I wanted were opinions and views so I could feel comfortable about changing my views