Daddy at Appointments

lovtra

How important is it to you that he attend your appointments?.. I'm trying to decide if I'm being over the top... i ask him about going to an appt and he said, if i HAVE to I will come... which really made me feel crappy... I see other moms at the doctor with their men... am i being too emotional about this?

nihilist

It depends on how important it is to you he's supposed to be a support for you so if he don't go and learn anything about whats really going on with you and your guys baby how is he supposed to be any use to you

coolbabybeans

No, you need him there for emotional support he also needs to be there to hear everything the ob is gonna tell you. It's understandable if he can't make it to a couple but if he has no reason not to be there he should be

mommy3

I don't think you're being too emotional.. it would be different if he couldn't get off work, or something like that. But when they act like its no big deal & they do things just because we want them to.. I think that's more of the thing that upsets us. We don't understand why they don't want to do baby things on their own.. ya know? My husband won't miss an appointment & loves going.. but when it comes to baby shopping, he acts like its awful.. so I understand a bit.

natashalynn

if you want him to be there, then it should be important to him too. My bd hasn't been at all of them, but I'm personally okay with that. There's some questions I have for my doc that I know he might not want to hear haha.
But I stand by my first statement, if you want him there, he should want to be there.

[Deleted User]

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babycakes19

I feel that they should be there every step of the way you deont want to go an get bad news an have no one shoulder to cry on. You know

vette_devil

Lol, I'm with @mommy3 ... my husband drives me crrrazy because he insists on going to every one, which I love- but then he makes me late to almost every one & I can't stand it!... I ended up leaving him behind for one w/our first baby b/c I was fed up & that worked for a while, lol. He also hates the shopping bit, but I'm okay with that b/c I enjoy that on my own just fine!

silverfairy

My husband only comes to scans as he has to book time of work and I want to have that extra time off he has for when the baby is here. If he has the time of he should go I would make my hubby I'd he wasn't working.

[Deleted User]

I dnt thnk so I like for my bf to b thr

MorgDeeBee

My husband comes to just about all of them. He has only missed a few and its usually cuz of training or classes. He is in the military and gearing up for a deployment so he'll provably miss a bunch coming up

lovtra

He works a schedule much like mine and says that he doesn't want to take off if he doesn't have to... I understand that because I am trying to save up as much time as i can for when i deliver but he missed the first appt... and they did an ultrasound so he missed the first look at baby.. the next appt we will hear the heartbeat and he is going to miss that too... I could deal with him making those and then the one to determine the sex.. but i just feel like I'm going to be walking in there alone..

lovtra

My best friend says i am being too emotional.

[Deleted User]

Nope you are not. I demand that my husband is there, luckily he is more excited than I am.

He will come around!

silverfairy

If you only want him at those appointments then explain that to him I'm sure he will want to be there to find out the sex. If you let him.know your happy to do others alone but them ones mean something he might be more for it.

lovtra

Thanks for the input ladies.

Kmose77

Ya, I would talk to him about just coming to the big apt's. Heart beat, sex, then a few toward the end. Doesn't really need to be there for ALL of them. But at least a few. My man loves to be there to hear the heartbeat, and make sure everything is ok. But he also misses some due to work and things. Its prob not comfortable for him to be there all the time. But if you comprimise on just a few maybe he'll enjoy it more and want to be there when you ask?

may1mommatobe

My bf has been to all of them & gets excited to hear the heart beat he will shop with me but always wants to rush me so I get annoyed lol

TechGirlPa

I think he should want to go! My partner goes to all of mine.

kayleigh27

I got really upset when my husband asked if he had to go to every appointment even when its just a check up. I guess he noticed because he has been to every one (minus my first ultrasound).

Jwoods922

He should want to be there, so he can hear and ask questions, you are not being over the top!

Rissalee7

my bf came to all the dr apptments in the first trimester. hes been to my 14 and 20 wk ultrasound. so he has only not been to two of them. our first ob had us switch to his partner for the remainder of my pregnancy so my bf will be at the next appointment to meet her and ask any questions with me. the only reason he hasnt been to all my second trimester onec is because i told him he didnt have to. if he wanted to he culd by all means but i wasnt gunna make him take off work when all they do is ur stats and a heartbeat check. we have a heartbeat monitor at home so we really get to hear it whenever we want

ghettobetty

With my first baby I was alone, my second the nd wanted to go to every appointment .... he was controlling. Now with my fiance I only ask him to come when there are ultrasounds I make sure I know when ones scheduled. He doesn't really want to go other then that anyways... I'm OK with it. But he reassured me if I really want him there at all of them he will be there.

mamadeleon0302

Mine goes with me to make fun of the weight I gain and to look at the ultrasound and asks me where the baby is im like ask the doctor I dont kno lol its our first :-) so were new to this parenting thing

starrxoxo9

My bf has a hard time getting off of work so I told him I need him with me 3 times. During the first sonogram (which he went to), when we find out the gender, and when I give birth. Its not necessary for him to go when all I'm gonna do us pee in a cup and step on the scale lol....

angie87

I wish I can also have my hobby come with me to all my appointments but its just not possible he went to my first which I was happy with and he told me if he could make it he would but his work schedule Dosent allow him to. As long as he makes it to some am fine with it

MomE2A09X11

My husband loves going to my appointments. His office is about 5 min away so he goes with me if he's not real busy.

casnleslie

My hubby goes to 1 in each of the first 2 trimesters and every one after 32 weeks. He also goes to all the scans. This way he stays updated, but not to the point he annoys me. It works great for us.
I do think that whatever support you need he should be able to provide. The thing is the OB is like the tampon isle at the store, some guys just aren't comfortable.

mamadeleon0302

For my husband he feels like he missed out on everything since 7months of my pregnancy he was in afgahnistan and cudnt be with me :-( but I love that hes eager to come with me and schedule appointments

expectingmy2nd

I won't be disappointed with my fiance if he doesn't make it to all my appointments but I definitely would want him there if something was wrong or for the ultra sounds which I'm pretty sure I wont have a problem with him not being there. He has been to a couple of my doctors appointments when I wasn't pregnant and I've been there to support him at a couple of his doctors appointments.

tweetlove

I thinks its good bonding time for the couple, and he doesn't realize how much he's missing even though visits to get boring and mundane. My boyfriend would die if he missed in single appt, and I enjoy his being there. Gives me someone to talk to in the waiting room and while waiting for the doc, he helps me remember stuff that I would otherwise forget, and when I'm nervous about the doctors "probing" he calms me down. And what pregnant woman doesn't want to see her bd grin from ear to ear listening to baby's heartbeat?