Find out if your county has an involuntary program like @liloulou is talking about. My bf had a dirty drug test, and they sent him to jail for 1 month and 1 month of rehabilitaion for drugs...it helped him some, but he had no say in going or not.
@EricaK22 if she calls the police or. even a social worker and tells them she is scared or fears for her or her other children's lives by law they r to remove them from her custody and send them to group home if drugs r involved and she feels.they r under the influence she can have them sent to treatment just like judges do it to.people that have committed a crime under the influence they can do jail or mandatory treatment for 30 days where at the end they evaluate them and the counselor then chooses if they feel there ready if not the slap another 10-30 days and they will keep doing it till they feel they r ready also being as they r underage the parents have the right to say which is aloud to visit so no surprise visit from friends can monitor there phone privileges too they do family nights as well but this is all.that is in my state u would have to check with ur own call ur local dshs or look in the government section of the phone under state maybe they have a drug abuse number in it u could turn. Them in that way too
Sorry I didn't have time to write last night, we had the cable internet turned off so now I have to use my phone which takes forever to type lol. The intervention specialist says I need to file unruly charges again & the prosecutors may even want to have the police search my basement because of his "chemistry" lab he has set up down there. She also said he needs a psych evaluation so I have to call & set that up. He's been sitting in his room sulking all day, won't even talk to me. I still don't have the courage to file those charges yet. But I'm working on it. Meanwhile life just continues with everyone else as usual while I'm dying inside. My son basically disowned me. And now I have to file charges against him, which in his mind will just seal the deal. This sucks so bad.
@wilsomom I know it must be very hard. But remember that this is for him, and even if he is mad his future depends on it. He will understand. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but soon he will. Get all the help that they can offer, it will be good for him.
he will eventually get over it! You need to do what is best for him and his health! He can be mad all he wants but ignoring him will end up with you probably hurt and him on the streets doing serious drugs and eventually in jail anyway! Trust me, I've seen it. And those kind of people blame their parents for not doing anything and it's all the parents fault for all their mistakes. He will thank you for it later on in life when he's not in jail and not a druggie looking for his next fix.
I can't even imagine ur pain. Just remember you are doing everything in ur power to save his life. The love we feel for our babies is scary powerful and what really sucks us they will never understand it. Until they have children and are old/mature enough to feel that attachment. I pray that he comes around and realizes how much he has to lose.
I just wanted to give everyone an update. As of right now things have calmed down A LOT. I was completely over reacting to some of the crap from a couple weeks ago & was in a very negative state of mind. The intervention lady, me & my husband have been working together & talking with the boys. They are talking with her about their futures & where they want to be after high school. The boys have been working with my husband a lot because we do Christmas lights. We have been killing them with kindness which is surprisingly working! They have gotten some of their privileges back but not everything yet such as the internet for sneaking a computer with porn in their closet. (ugh, I hate that!) My 16yo actually told me he didn't mean any of those things he said to me, that he was just mad. My husband has helped me realize that sometimes ppl, especially young boys, apologize in a non verbal way & that basically they have done that with their actions. We've had their friends over here & done more things together. Now, I'm not stupid... I know they're still doing crap they shouldn't be like smoking & such, & that they still need help, but I also am able to talk with them calmly about it. I hate to say it's "too late" so to speak, but at this point with their age I have to give them reasonable boundaries & choose relationship over discipline to a degree. NOT with anything dangerous like illegal drugs, but the small stuff. Hopefully that makes sense. It's so hard to explain the entire situation! Thanks SO MUCH for all thee help & support...it's not over yet, but at least it's in a positive direction for the time being!
I'm soo happy to hear things are looking up. Sounds like you're doing great job balancing out the fact that you still have to be careful but showing them that everything can be so much better if they just behave.
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