I can see both sides of @ashleysmashley and @mama_kat are saying u don't want to react out of anger and be too hard but at same time I can see what @captivated and @cristinalynn are saying BC my step daughter is one of those children who is spoiled. Her mom and even Marquis her dad are way to lenient on things she has no Respect for either if them and u can be telling her all day to stop doing something and she just keeps going. The main reason I think she is being spoiled is unlike me when I ask her to either do or not do something I give her warning and tell her next time it's right to time out. I always follow through. Her parents do not follow through at all therefore she knows she doesn't have to listen to them and does whatever she wants. For example today she's been told all day to keep it down if Scarlett is taking a nap and BC it was coming from her dad she hasn't been listening and my lo hasn't been able to sleep all day. Then I finally said next time it's right to time out. Now since I wasn't in the room she kept yelling and I came out send her to time out. And finally Scarlett is able to lay down. But the weird Part was her dad said to her I told u, while I was sending her to time out. Obviously he knew but did nothing about it therefore she has no respect for him. How is she supposed to learn to listen to adults of her own father is not teaching her. This effects every situation. Like when we go have dinner at my parents once a week she will keep talking and won't sit still and interrupts no one can have a conversation. My parents can't even play with their own granddaughter BC she has to be the center of attention 24/7 and no one tells her what's wrong or right. I'm not saying she can't be a kid but I think it's our job as parents to teach and be the parent not best friend. A child should be able to sit at dinner table until they are done without getting up every minute to play or get something. Since her parents never say anything I think she is one of those spoiled kids with no guidance. And every counselor will tell u children crave direction without it they are lost.
I do not agree with this article at all. The point of a time out is to have the child out of the situation in a quiet environment to think about what they did and calm down. Then you bring them back to you, talk about what happened, make sure they understand what they did and why it was not okay. If my son threw a ball at my daughter's head on purpose I most certainly WOULD NOT hug him, make him laugh and send him on his way... Smh...
Btw Ashley of you took offense to the term she used about shit stained children, someone could do the same about your statement up at the top of this being for "us peaceful parents".... Meaning that if we don't parent this way we aren't peaceful? Or we are less than parents that DO parent this way?
What I don't like about the article is the redo part. In life we don't usually get to redo something and I don't think that would be teaching children realistic lessons. Plus it takes away personal accountability and responsibility for ones actions which I think is the number one cause of '' shit stain kids ''.
Wow well all I can say is this...we all parent how we want to parent and that's that.
@mamalove the term peaceful parenting is the name generally given to the type of parenting I am describing. "spoiled shit stain" is NOT a name generally given children who act out...spoiled is..so yes I was offended by the shocking adjectives.
This article was not ment to create such debate. I parent this way abd it works for me. I am the oldest of 7 and pretty much raised the siblings bc my single mom worked 24/7 to support us...so I tried the other way and it never worked.
@blessedtxmom there is a difference between sending your child to his room for time out when you are both upset, and taking time to breath when you both are calm.
@christinalynn I was not trying to say don't comment on this thread..I was just remembering times when parenting threads got out of hand and didn't want this one to go that way. You are more than welcome to state your opposite opinion. Doesn't bother me one bit, when people don't agree with me.
@Ashley_Smashley I really wasn't trying to make it be a debate. I was just sharing my thoughts and experiences. I do understand where the article would be great for smaller children. When Jayda, who's 6 months throws herself back into a tantrum and screams I grab her to put her on my lap and say goodness girl and nooo the big bad tantrum and start playing patty cake or something equal to amuse her. I would never assume just because a child grows up with no spankings means that child will become a spoiled little creature running around creating havoc. I meant if we teach our children there is no reaction for every action, it won't allow them to be held accountable and responsible for what they do. I definitely should have made it clear or maybe have worded it different. I'm loud and opinionated...and if you don't know me, it could be mistaken for being rude. Which is of course not me at all. @everyone For anybody that I have offended, please inbox ME right away. Having a problem with what I said can't be resolved through inboxing an administrator...it's only going to put Mama_Kat in the position to do the back and forth thing which isn't fair to her. If you just come to me and say hey I'm offended and I took it personally...I would've said sorry that I made you feel that way and explained it further. My pride is not an issue if I've hurt someone's feelings, trust me.
I know you weren't trying for a debate, no worries. The hope of peaceful parenting style is that by starting early, it will raise a calm grounded peaceful child. I really had no idea the thread would go this way! I fully agree with raising my child to know that every action has consequences...I think we just differ in what those consequences should be. @christinalynn
@Ashley_smashley Depending on what the child has done of course, but yes our consequences are different. Which is okay...because we're two different people, our children have different personalities and learn different. And that's okay too! ;-)
@Ashley_smashley I just asked some ladies that j trust that did have an account here to look to see if I went overboard or crossed the line with what I said...to get a second opinion like you with your Husband and Mil. There was never any drama that came of it...some people said I was harsh(which thankfully I now see that because of them), some said they knew what I meant and some had other opinions. It was very civil...but I asked in hopes to get a second opinion. I did, and I was told I should've said it differently and try not to be so harsh. I think everyone that said anything did say the same thing here...I know I definitely did. :-)
My sister was like that with my nephew and he is the complete opposite of what you described as the goal of the type of child that comes out of that parenting. He walks all over both his parents and my mom.
I can't imagine these working lol. I would think those kids would walk all over their parents. It seems like they're being rewarded for bad behavior, which in turn would make them seek that attention the same way they got it before. "Let me be bad so I can get a hug." But who knows. Different things work for different kids.
For the very last time. The point of the article was helpful ways to diffuse the angry situation...so both parties are more likely to hear what the other has to say. Bc when one or both parties are angry neither will listen to what the other has to say. This type of parenting is not about just letting your child walk all over you... It's about setting boundries, limits and finding a way to get those ideals across with out being negative or spiteful. All actions have consequences. Period.
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I would do those things after the punishment is over and he has understood what he did wrong by being in time out/his room by himself.
@mamalove the term peaceful parenting is the name generally given to the type of parenting I am describing. "spoiled shit stain" is NOT a name generally given children who act out...spoiled is..so yes I was offended by the shocking adjectives.
This article was not ment to create such debate. I parent this way abd it works for me. I am the oldest of 7 and pretty much raised the siblings bc my single mom worked 24/7 to support us...so I tried the other way and it never worked.
@blessedtxmom there is a difference between sending your child to his room for time out when you are both upset, and taking time to breath when you both are calm.
@christinalynn I was not trying to say don't comment on this thread..I was just remembering times when parenting threads got out of hand and didn't want this one to go that way. You are more than welcome to state your opposite opinion. Doesn't bother me one bit, when people don't agree with me.
@christinalynn totally okay!!