I wasn't trying to get pregnant. I've been with my bf/bd for 4.5yrs. I've been on birth control(depo shot) for 3yrs & we used condoms & I still got pregnant, now I'm 17weeks4days & thrilled about my first kiddo. I, personally, don't want to get married. He's asked me before..but I don't think you should have to get married to show how much you love someone..to me marriage is just a ring & a piece of paper.
I'm a very happy mom of two boys who's dad died was my teenage sweet heart we were married til he passed only 6 months after didn't help me make any w anything his mom kicked me out of r house n off r land n I lost everything even w the marriage, so that turned me on the whole getting married thing now I've been w my man for ten years he raised my boys as his n we have a beautiful girl that nine n one gonna b here in July!?!? Just my story
my future hubby and i have been ttc for a few months now. we are getting married next month (may 6th) and then he leaves for basic training on may 25th. he has been ready to have a baby for a while and he has been waiting on me. once i said i was ready we started trying. we have been engaged for almost a year and if it wasnt for him wanting to join the army we wouldnt be getting married so quickly but we would still be ttc.
my father and his girlfriend of almost 20 years tried having kids when they first got together and never thought of marriage until years later. my dad and mom got married just because they had my brother and that obviously didnt end well.. my dads GF had a daughter out of wedlock and got married later on and only married the guy because she wanted a father figure in her daughters life.. since the father wasnt in hers.
so there are a lot of different reasons to ttc while not married. people end up in different situations at different points in thier lives i guess.
@white55019 I'm not very religious so yeah..to me its just a piece of paper w/a ring and excuse for a party. I'm 20yrs going on 21..so maybe as I get older that view might change..but for now that's how I see it
@clope18 and that's perfectly fine but to some of us it is a lot more. And that's why i said to some of us its not and we shouldn't be looked down upon bc WF made a commitment we felt necessary
I see it much more than a peice of paper too, I dont see it as a commitment to god, more towards each other, you both have to be a 100% commited to do it and if it doesnt work out hopefully you can both be mature enough to divorce without any bitterness or anger!
@bwite55019 oh yeah Ofcourse. Everyone has their different views & opinions on marriage. I just don't like when ppl look down on other couples bcuz they're not married & have a kid(s)
I know it is very common and I am in no way looking down on it. Its becoming more of a reality than the " nuclear family" of the past. Good parents married or not are the most important thing!
@mami_ika3 are u talking about my religious beliefs because I belive in god and in which he created Adam and eve etc I believe in marriage but am just saying I could understand others view point
Although I don't believe I marriage I do believe me and my partner will be together forever and @mami_ika3 to me personally it would just be a piece of paper because I am non religious and In answer to your ? On how we think the world was made I personally believe in the theory of evolution x
Marriage is not just for God and is also not just a piece of paper. If I felt it were just a piece of paper then I wouldn't have gotten married either. It's about love and commitment. I also agree that just because you have a child doesn't mean you have to marry someone. I also don't understand the ttc out of wedlock, but to each their own. It doesn't mean I'm judging anyone's lifestyle either - its just my opinion. What I would like to know is how it's different to drag a child through a divorce vs a break up (if you're living together). Either way one day mommy & daddy are together and then they're not. I understand some divorces can be awful but so can some break ups. Just read some of the posts about bd's ex being awful. My parents are divorced and I know I'm a better person because of it.
Marriage to me is more complicated than just being togethe. My hubby and i had a great relationship until we got married. We divorced and now we are back together and started ttc cause we felt we were ready for an.addition to the family everybody just has differant views on.things.
My now husband And I were told I could not have children. I was about to have surgery before our wedding, and ta-dah hello my precious twins. He is an atheist, and I'm more spiritual than religious, but we got married as a personal commitment to each other. Its just a personal choice.
I understand marriage is about love and commitment but so is living together and being together you should be already be commitmented and love each other before marriage do what is the difference
I guess I am just old fashioned. I wouldn't be unmarried and having a baby. (I am totally not knocking it if you are!!!!!) That's just the way I was brought up and its never been an option in my book. The world is a vast amount of diffrences and that is why I enjoy reading everyones comments. Please don't be mad, that wasn't meant to be hurtful in any way!
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I absolutely adore my husband and being married....but I rather a couple not get married, than get married and drag kids through a divorce.
my father and his girlfriend of almost 20 years tried having kids when they first got together and never thought of marriage until years later. my dad and mom got married just because they had my brother and that obviously didnt end well.. my dads GF had a daughter out of wedlock and got married later on and only married the guy because she wanted a father figure in her daughters life.. since the father wasnt in hers.
so there are a lot of different reasons to ttc while not married. people end up in different situations at different points in thier lives i guess.
I see it much more than a peice of paper too, I dont see it as a commitment to god, more towards each other, you both have to be a 100% commited to do it and if it doesnt work out hopefully you can both be mature enough to divorce without any bitterness or anger!
What I would like to know is how it's different to drag a child through a divorce vs a break up (if you're living together). Either way one day mommy & daddy are together and then they're not. I understand some divorces can be awful but so can some break ups. Just read some of the posts about bd's ex being awful. My parents are divorced and I know I'm a better person because of it.