It's obvious you dont want to involve the authorities so I won't tell you to go to the cops, you love your husband and I can understand you not wanting to get him in trouble. I feel that you should talk with him about it tho. It's not exactly something that needs to be ignored. Try sitting him down in a non threatening way and expressing to him how much it bothered you. He may be oblivious to how much damage he's done to you emotionally. If he loves you he will listen and hopefully show you respect next time you say "no" To answer your question, YES, it is rape. I hate that you had to go thru that. I almost feel I'd rather be raped by a stranger than someone I loved and trusted like my husband..that's just wrong on so many levels...
if it was me i woulda left to a hotel for a few days to give him time to think. Because if u do nothing he will think that wat he did was ok. My first bd dad this to me and after him rippin my legs open n forcing himself in i pretended to like it so he wouldnt hold my legs down...ten i kicked him in the damn face as hard as i could n he fell back n out of me he never did that EVER again
You should never have to fear your husband. His job is to love and protect you. My husband is quite persistent when it comes to sex also, and there have been times when I felt violated. I had a talk with him and he was surprised that he had made me feel the way he did and apologized. communication is key.
Wow, I can't believe you have to go through this while pregnant. I agree with everyone else who is stating that this is clearly, without a doubt...RAPE. the first think that came to line was that, it's unbelievable that he cools even go through with the act while you were crying and fighting him. I know that you live him, but if you don't confront him about how you feel, it will take a toll in you. I think you really need to sit him down and confront him. I'm sending you a big squeeze!!!
My husband did this to me when I was pregnant with our daughter & I hate to say it but it escalated from there after she was born I was still upset & didn't want him to touch me, it went from that to physical fights he punched me in the chest threw me against walls drug me around the floor by my hair, I eventually told him I had enough that if he touched me like that again I was leaving well he didn't believe me until he did it again I locked me & my daughter in her room packed her things & left after he realized i was serious he apologized & I came back but I warned him if he ever hit me again we were gone for good well its been over 2 yrs I always wandered if I talked to him about it instead of holding it all in would it have gone that far, you need to talk to him sweetie its not the most comfortable conversation but take it from me, its not healthy to hold it in. I'm here if you need to talk sweetie! I'm sorry you had to go through that.
I just read this!! Omg!! Why is he not seeing you weren't into it from the get go! I'm sure your confused and not wanting him to get arrested. I hope you make sense of what happened and go from there..
Talking with him about it is the main thing you should do. He's your husband, he should listen and respect you. He might not have realized what he did hurt you so bad. He's a man...they can be a little slow sometimes.
I'm so sorry. I didn't read anyone else's comments, but I thought I'd share my experience with you. I was engaged to someone before I married my husband, and this used to happen to me all the time with my ex. I would say no and he would either force me (like this, where he was obviously getting off on the struggle) or become verbally abusive and nasty if I turned him down. I spent many nights in the bathroom sobbing after we had sex, and the more it happened the less I wanted anything to do with him. I finally called off our engagement and left him because I didn't know how to talk to him about it and I couldn't forgive him. I believe that I was assaulted, although I will not call it rape (I simply can't equate what happened to me with what happens to a woman who is violently raped or drugged and raped; that's my personal opinion, though. I've seen that and the trauma that they suffer is very different). That said, I think you need to confront him about it. I was in a position where it was easy for me to leave--I was 22 and though we'd been together for 5 years, there was nothing tying me to him. You have more of a reason to at least make an effort. Regardless, though, you don't deserve what you just went through and he needs to realize that what he did was wrong and can not happen again. Good luck, I hope everything works out for you.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this but if this was me I wouldn't call the cops unless I was sure going to leave him because then i would think it would cause problems within the marriage but them again that's me and idk your situation so all I can tell you is do what's best for yourself and children
@twins_on_the_way my hubby and i read this together and needless to say he seemed irate.. he said "being as horny of a man as i am i could never do that to you,my hand is a possible victim but never you" he says he's so sorry your hubby did that to you and its the least bit OK,or right. I am so soorrry this happened to you its not okay. My hubby said to talk to him about it. Because you dont want this to be lingering. He also said a man isn't a man if he has to steal something from his wife,exspecially "love making" prayers to you.
So not a lot of progress has been made since he is still in bed. He's a heavy sleeper so I can't even wake him up to talk. I did find a lot of resources online this morning. Along with some prayer, I'm gonna talk to him when he gets up. It's been on my mind constantly and is taking a huge toll on my mental well being.
Thanks for all your advice. And I'm so sorry to those of you who know how I feel. Special thanks to those who got a man's input for me. I will update. Sorry if I don't respond right away, its because I have to get to my computer to change accounts. It's a pain to do on my phone. But I am reading the comments and support under my real name. Thx :X
my hubby knows me well enough tht if he done something like this,...he wouldnt dare blinking..let alone sleeping,..so sorry to hear that you hsd to go through this, and i hope you can get through it,...besst wishes
Good luck with the talk, hun. Hopefully he will be very mature and understanding, and will realize he was very much in the wrong. Im sorry you had to go through this, especially with the one man you give 100% of your heart and trust to. Im sure it was devastating for that trust to be stomped on like that. I hope everything turns out for the best. My thoughts and prayers are with you >:D<
I defintely agree that you need to talk to him about it...I asked my husband his opinion lastnight and he was sickened by it. We are on baby #4 and so over the past 12 years there have been many times that I have not been in the mood and while he might tease me about it, he would never force me into it. I don't care how sexually frustrated someone is...there is never an excuse to force sex on your partner(or anyone else). I pray that everything is going to work out...but please make sure to protect yourself in case this should happen again.
He knew it was rape there is no way he can think that u crying was u ok u need 2 get out he will do it again if he has got away with it 1ce plus it sounded like he enjoyed it u n Ur unborn babies don't deserve this u defiantly don't want someone like tht around Ur children I no u love him but u will love Ur children more then u cud ever love him u have 2 do something if he will do tht 2u wot will he do 2 them I hope u make the right decision gd luck
I'm praying for you right now because its all I can do. I'm fortunate enough to not know what its like and thank god for that. I can't possibly imagine what's going on in your head. I pray you find the strength n words to deal with this and talk to him. I have been married before and after we got married my husband turned into someone I didn't know. We lived togethe n had a child for 3 years before we got married. I guess its true what they say you never know all of someones true colors. Was he under the influence of alcohol or drugs? I know my bf is more persistent when he's drunk but if I was crying he would back off and console me. I'm so sorry this happend to you I will be praying for you dear.
That was rape. It doesn't matter who does it, you were FORCED and still feel violated. I have been raped I know its the worst feeling. I also know a woman who put her husband in jail for rape. I will say this from what I see...JUST MY Opinion.... he has no respect for you your body or baby. He could've caused you to go into labor which could've been harmful to your baby. YES YOUR BABY, ITS STILL IN YOUR BODY!!! I am soooo sorry for you going through this. Handle this in the Way your heart says to. However I would say consider your child's safety oobviously if you were unable to protect yourself against him while pregnant what willl you do if it happens again later or worse or God forbid harm your child. YOU ARE MARRIED TO THIS MAN AND DIDN'T KNOW HE HAD THIS IN HIM....WHAT ELSE IS HE HIDING
Unfortunately u aren't the only one its happened to me as well. I fought n yelled but I stopped n just layed. There pissed. I didn't cry was just mad that he didn't understand. I was mad for about a week but ive gotten over it. U have every right to be upset.I said if he did anything similar again I'm gone. I hope you do the same.
This is my opinion as a man. There is no doubt that he raped you, period! The questions is what you want or should do. As a minimum you need to tell him that it hurt you and affected you emotionally, and it can not happen again. That is if you truly believe it was a one time thing. But the reality is that I doubt it is a one time thing, especially given his reaction afterwards. He doesn't think he did anything wrong. Chances are very real that he might do it again, to you or someone else, and/or it might not be his first time doing it. If he is that kind of person he might end up doing something similar to another unwilling female. Can you afford him doing that to you again, or to someone else if he can not do it to you? Can you trust that he can control himself in the future? I don't want to be negative, but what he did is very serious. Do some soul searching and act appropriately to protect yourself and others if necessary.
@voiceofreason there is no drama back & forth, she asked what we thought & we answered. Most people did say at least talk to him. & if she wasn't in the mood, then she shouldn't just give it to him to make him happy. Iy was wrong what he did, no matter which way you slice it.
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You clearly said no which means no whether he knows you or not. I'm really sorry this happened to you.
Thanks for all your advice. And I'm so sorry to those of you who know how I feel. Special thanks to those who got a man's input for me. I will update. Sorry if I don't respond right away, its because I have to get to my computer to change accounts. It's a pain to do on my phone. But I am reading the comments and support under my real name. Thx :X