Custody question, what rights does the father have?
My babies father is no longer in the picture. He has been insensitive, angry & controlling towards me this entire pregnancy. He keeps saying he will help financially but has not bought her 1 thing or helped me with bills. He thinks I am doing things for her behind his back, but I look at it as just handling what needs to be done since I have done everything myself so far meaning me looking for her pediatrician, day care etc. he is now telling me he plans to take me to court for full custody! Can anyone give me advice as far as.what I can do now before she's here to keep her? Do I give her my name? Leave him off dedicate? I have no idea, I need help!
Comments
The first thing is the name. IF you want you can name your child superman with a sur name (last name) as spiderman. You are the one that is giving birth to the child you can name it what ever you want. So the last name thing is up to you, so is the first and the middle. Just because the baby does not have his last name doesnt mean that she wont know her father or that he is less of her father. It doesnt matter what you name her she still has half of his DNA and there is nothing you, him or her can do about that. So just do what you feel is right.
The court thing is.... protection is key. If he is abusive to you the you should get a restraining order. To protect yourself. Also if you fear for you babys safety then you should get one for her and you can get one before she is born that he cant be around her whe she is born for her safety. After that the court will get involved and determine the child support, visitation, and other arragements that need to be made in determining the safety of the child and what is best for the child. Another thing you need to keep in mind is that keep track of everything. Every threating phone call, abusive words in public, anything that you dont feel comfortable with. The court will order him to pay half of the medical costs, (related to her- usually birthing charges) her doctors appointments, daycare, and anything else related to her.
You have a lot to think about and I would look to actual legal advice for indepth help with this situiation.
I didn't put my exes name on the birth certificate because he never showed back up at the hospital to sign it. He was verbally and mentally abusive to me and now I wish he wasn't in my daughters life. He says and does things around her that any normal person would never ever do. He is very intelligient but has zero common sense. If your ex is anything like mine please do take the precautions suggested above, and document everything. You may not need it but it will help should you end up in a situation that calls for you to take him to court. Even if he seems like his demeanor has improved you'll never regret having an account of what transpires. I wish you the best of luck and pray he won't do anything foolish.
Taking a child from a parent is wrong on every level unless they are truely abusive. And making fathers see their kids every other weekend IS taking them away. Any woman can say She's the woman so she must be the better parent, and that that somehow justifies in her mind her actions, but it doesn't make it so. Good dads lose their kids every day, and until people start looking at reality it will continue to happen.