Help: Best friend wants to smoke @ shower, wont listen to my requests not to.
Advice please ladies...
I have this friend who is super touchy and debates with everyone about everything coming to my shower in Oct. She is one of my closest friends so I really want her there.
The thing is she chain smokes like no other.
I have asked her already to not smoke at the shower and she went ballistic.
"Why can't I just go in the back"
"Bc my mom doesn't want people smoking in her backyard"
"Why can't I go in the front"
"Bc you'll come back and smell like it and it makes me nauseas."
"Why can't I put on perfume"
"Bc it will still smell. Besides...I don't want you spending half my shower outside smoking, and taking other guests with you"
"We don't smoke that long"
"Its like 15 mins if you have just one"
...this continued on and on until I just dropped it.
I have no idea what to do here.
I feel like I am at the point of saying "don't smoke for 3 hours and come or leave early".
Is that being too harsh?
(This isn't the 1st time her smoking has actually got in the way of an event of mine. When I got married she was my MOH and needed to sign my license. The priest had to leave so we were hurried and she was no where to be found. When we did find her she was smoking and was all "gimme 10 mins"...we had to have someone else sign...which of course pissed her off.)
So ladies, any tips?
I want her to come but I really don't want to deal with her habit and I really don't see the problem with requesting that people not smoke for 3 hours.
Thought?
Thanks,
Rhi
I have this friend who is super touchy and debates with everyone about everything coming to my shower in Oct. She is one of my closest friends so I really want her there.
The thing is she chain smokes like no other.
I have asked her already to not smoke at the shower and she went ballistic.
"Why can't I just go in the back"
"Bc my mom doesn't want people smoking in her backyard"
"Why can't I go in the front"
"Bc you'll come back and smell like it and it makes me nauseas."
"Why can't I put on perfume"
"Bc it will still smell. Besides...I don't want you spending half my shower outside smoking, and taking other guests with you"
"We don't smoke that long"
"Its like 15 mins if you have just one"
...this continued on and on until I just dropped it.
I have no idea what to do here.
I feel like I am at the point of saying "don't smoke for 3 hours and come or leave early".
Is that being too harsh?
(This isn't the 1st time her smoking has actually got in the way of an event of mine. When I got married she was my MOH and needed to sign my license. The priest had to leave so we were hurried and she was no where to be found. When we did find her she was smoking and was all "gimme 10 mins"...we had to have someone else sign...which of course pissed her off.)
So ladies, any tips?
I want her to come but I really don't want to deal with her habit and I really don't see the problem with requesting that people not smoke for 3 hours.
Thought?
Thanks,
Rhi
Comments
However you do realize when/if she shows up she will smell of it since she'll obviously smoke as much as possible on the way and sitting parked in front of the house before going in so one of your reasons is kinda out the window (shell smell of it with or without perfume)
Have you called all the other smokers attending and told them they can't smoke?
I just don't want to make an exception for my friend and then have all the other smokers go out with them. I've been at plenty of events where what once was a filled room becomes empty bc now everyone is outside smoking. And I used to smoke b4 I got pregnant so I know it happens bc I did it too. But at my other friends shower she requested we not smoke and I didn't. It was her event...so even from the smokers POV I really don't understand why my friend is being so difficult about it.
She's probably being difficult because she doesn't like/want someone telling her she can't smoke outside. In her head she doesn't see what the big deal is. And since you've already talked to that brick wall there's nothing more you can say to convince her. Its apples and oranges but at this point you'd have better luck convincing a drunk person to not have another one.
@fashion_junky91 has the only thing that MIGHT work which is basically bribing her lol pull the 'ol come on do it for me, do it for my little peanut..and I promise ill take you out for lunch or something