trapped, i dont want this..help!

puchungispuchungis
edited March 2011 in Pregnant
I'm 15 ill be 16 by the end of March. I'm around 3 months 1/2 and I'm so trapped. My bf is supportive but I haven't told my parents and I haven't gotten a check up. Idk how to tell my mom, I think about it every day all day and everything that could possibly go wrong in my mind goes wrong. Like me being the biggest disappointment, my parents recently got divorced and my dad is super religious. I don't know what to do :( and to make it better my bf said u have until Tuesday to tell ur mom or I'm done helping. Cause I've been putting it off for so long
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Comments

  • Newmommy17Newmommy17
    edited March 2011
    You are in a very difficult situation and I wish you the best. The only advice I have is that you will have to tell them sooner or later and the longer you wait, the more stress you will be putting on yourself and your relationship with BF. Let your parents speak their peace and get it out of their system, they are your parents and will probably be shocked. Keep in mind that what's done, is done and the only thing you can do is move forward from here.
  • sands3sands3
    Just tell her. They may be disappointed but your still their daughter! I was 25 when I had my first but not married, even being that old I was scared to tell my parents. They actually took it better than I thought and my mom is very religious. Good luck sweetie!
  • my1babymy1baby
    Sweetie, I know its scary and hard but you have to tell your parents, true they may be upset but you need to think of the health of you and your baby. Also, in time they will be excited, and if your dad is that religious he will be understanding and supportive :) good luck and remember God has a plan for everyone, even if we don't understand at the time!
  • dobiemommadobiemomma
    I was 19 with my first and my mom is crazy nuts, after the first initial "wtf?" She was got into game mode and found an ob and started shopping. I know it was disappointing for my parents but they wouldn't trade my daughter in for the world. Its hard, but deep breath and go tell your momma. U need to make sure u get the proper care for u and baby so don't put it off. Ur bf sounds like a good guy, those are hard to find, respect him as well and tell your parents. It will be ok. Maybe not this second, but things will work out. Good luck hun.
  • mommy2be92mommy2be92
    It took me till I was 12 weeks and odd days to tell my family and there are super relgious and they took it a hell of a lot better then I thought I was ignored for 3 days then they came around and ever since I told them I feel so much better
  • mommajanmommajan
    when I was 17 I got pregnant. I wasnt the best daughter a mother could have. my older sister was about 7 months along and had the entire familys support. I didnt tell my mom until I was around 4 months, sadly I lost that baby because I didnt go to the dr. my best advice is to tell them asap! their your parents but you are who you are. now im 21yrs old and 9 months along and I have ZERO support from my mother and 110% from my father. god works in mysterious ways but knows what hes doing or so we have to trust. its hard but you need to put yourself and baby first, words hurt but the pain of losing a baby is unbareable. good luck to you
  • bettybetty
    Sweetie, you and your bf need to go talk to her. That way he will give u the strength, and support you need! Now a days young girls are becoming mommies to young. Your mom has no other choice than to accept it... Good Luck my lub
  • magcawmagcaw
    I'm trying to imagine my family's response if we found out one of our kids was with child. My sisters were both single moms for much of their sons' early lives, so my mother and I really helped to raise them. The boys are your age now, and if they came home and said their gf was prego I don't think it would exactly be disappointment that we'd feel. Sure, we'd be sad and probably a little pissed off bc there are so many contraceptives out there, and there'd probably be some shock mixed in, but those emotions wouldn't be a result of feeling disappointed or thinking they were worthless-it would be because parenthood requires that you grow up, and no one really wants to see their children grow up before their time. But you know what, it happens, and you just have to roll with it. You are responsible for a life now, which means it's time to make adult decisions and take the consequences of the choices you've made (as unpleasant as that may be). Your baby is depending on you for its health, and you need to see a doctor asap for that. Are you keeping your baby? Then don't be sorry, be realistic. Your parents probably aren't going to be thrilled right away, but they will be happy about their grandchild eventually. Are you considering adoption? Have that information ready to talk about with your parents. If you are taking the steps that are necessary to take care of your baby they will at the very least be grateful that you are being responsible. You'll come through this and be alright. Mothers are strong people-you just have to find that strength.
  • mommy2audreymommy2audrey
    ***my sister had the same thing happen.

    I think the way they told my parents was very smart.. they told them they had something to tell them over dinner and they took my parents to denneys. .. I think they we're afraid my dad would kill them so it being a public place he couldn't even yell at them lol..

    Make sure ur bf comes with u to tell em

    I'm sure ull be a great mommy!
  • puchungispuchungis
    Thanks guys! You help me so much jst every day I think about it and i get courage to tell her and then when I'm about to I wuss out and I don't. I know I'm keeping my little chubbs <3 I'm jst scared to tell my parents idk what they'll say, my mom jst told me the other day to be careful with my bf cause she doesn't want me to get preggo cause she went through it with me and "it ruined her life" ):
  • magcawmagcaw
    Oh no! :( are you excited about your baby? You don't need to have the same experience as your mom (and hopefully she knows that)--I think that how motherhood effects your life has as much to do with how you choose to approach it as it does with the aspects that you can't control. I can't wait to find out how your announcement goes-you have to keep us posted. And you know that us Pregly ladies are here for you whether it goes well or poorly. When are you due?
  • puchungispuchungis
    I'm super excited I wanna be bigger already to at least like hug my tummy :) I know its going to be hard at such a young age but its something I'm eager to do. I can't wait to see wut my baby is like or how motherhood is like <3 I will most definitely stay posted :) (if she doesn't take my phone away -_-) lol but like September or October according to the app lol not sure haven't gotten checked
  • Newmommy17Newmommy17
    Ruined her life? I hope she added how lucky she was to have you at the end of that statement
  • puchungispuchungis
    ^^ nope not really. That's why I was like wow thanks mom I love u too but if u didn't want me then u should of waited? We have small problems against eachother :/
  • salsabiasalsabia
    I just told my mom the day after I found out. She and I have never been close. She was kinda upset at first. Mainly cause I barely know the BD. Now she's super excited. Im buying a house around the corner from her and she's going to keep the baby while I work. It will all work out. Just gotta Man up and tell her.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    I was 15 when I got pregnant with my first. The father was older than me (24) he was very close to my family, his dad was one of my moms close friends. We had known each other for many years due to that. My family always knew we would eventually end up together, but of course not until I was 18. Anyway, my mom had always said if I ended up pregnant she would run, not walk to the nearest abortion clinic. So I was so scared to tell her, we waited until I was 29wks. They were disappointed of course, but were supportive. I gave birth 2mos after my 16th birthday to a healthy, beautiful baby girl. I got married 5wks later, but we ended up splitting after 11mos. We're still best friends, but we didn't make good spouses to one another. We did try to work it out for a couple years, but it just wasn't working. I am now remarried to my 'one', expecting our 2nd baby together, my 5th, his 3rd. Even though my parents didn't like the idea of me having a baby so young, they were supportive, they still are. I swear they're more proud of my kids than anything else in the world. They never took care of my kids financially, that I did. But emotionally, lovingly supported me. Regardless, your mom will always love you, as well as this baby, it is her grandchild. Once she adjusts to it, she will probably be excited&happy :) good luck! Keep me updated!
  • TechGirlPaTechGirlPa
    edited March 2011
    @puchungis. I know its hard. I was in your place at 15 and the reactions of other people can feel like they are going to make or break your world. I will tell you though That before 15 I had no one to think about other than mysef, so when i realized I was pregnant my life turned completely upside down. All of a sudden my life revolved around someone else and keeping her was the best decision I had ever made in my life. Fourteen years ago people acted a lot differently about it as well and I even went through a clinic worker who tried to convince me (and tried to schedule) to have an abortion. You just have to remind yourself that you are now responsible for someone else and its time to be more responsible than you've ever had to be. You have to do what's best for you and your child. Your life is changing forever when you have a child, but that is not a bad thing. Sometimes it will feel like you have no idea what to do but the way you will feel when you're with your little one will make it all worth it.
  • BriellesMommyBriellesMommy
    I'm 21 and was soooooo scared to tell people let alone my mom. I was crying hysterically when I said "Mom, I'm pregnant!" Lol.... I can laugh now cuz she took it better than I thought and she said something that i really needed to hear. First thing she asked me was, "well what are you going to do?" Kinda sternly so that scared me and so I said I didn't know even tho I knew I wasn't getting an abortion. Then she told me that you never are all the way ready to be a parent and there is never really a good time for an unplanned pregnancy, but its here and its time to deal. Your mom will be ok. Just make sure you let her know that you have a plan and you plan to be responsible and that you need her support right now. Make sure ur bf is there too and can speak to your guys plan. It will all work out hun.
  • Kateee10Kateee10
    I got pregnant at fifteen & didn't tell my parents. My mom finally figured it out & told my Dad. My Dad didn't talk to me for two weeks, wouldn't even look at me. But, you know what? After my daughter was born she melted his heart. First grandchild & she is his everything! They are going to be disappointed sure. But, prove yourself along the way. They are only feeling this way because they know it is going to be a rough road for you. But, you should tell them. The longer you wait, the more you may hurt them as well as not having a support system. My parents were my biggest fans, & I thank God for them every day!
  • survivormommie3survivormommie3
    Its going to be scary. But once the words are out the worst you have left is them letting out their frustrations. Once that moment is done with, the worst is over. You can do this. And the absolute most importnant thing is to get ur prenatal pills and appointments in. If nothing else call your mommas obgyn and go in to visit them. Then have them call in your mom as if it is her appointment and be there while the doc is there w u and ur momma. And I think it would be best if ur bf is there.
  • puchungispuchungis
    Thanks guys! :D I think ima tell her today but idk know how, like should I text her and tell her or call ? Or tell her in person? Idk I'm scared she'll flip on me if I tell her in person
  • puchungispuchungis
    when u were 15 and scared how did u tell them?
  • lavitaebellalavitaebella
    Tell her in person.
  • Alley_babaAlley_baba
    U just need to let it out it will feel so much better and in the end your mom will be supportive and help you anyway possible its your mother shell always be there
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  • magcawmagcaw
    Tell her in person; she'll be hurt if you tell her over a text, and that will just add to her reaction.
  • lilNugget11lilNugget11
    I'm 25 with baby #1 on the way, I freaked out when I saw the result of my digital test :P my Bf and I live with my rents and let's just say, I thought my father would disown me for sure. I waited until I couldn't take it anymore, about 10wks, and I blurted it out (in person :P) lol the sooner you tell the better. I was so sick from not telling them sooner, worst "all day" sickness even!! Luckily my mother and sister's are thrilled for baby along with the bf's fam. And my dad is starting to lighten up. Good luck to you! And baby! "Chubbs" I believe you called it. ;)
  • mommy3mommy3
    Just be like mom, I missed a few periods and I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant.. if you think you'd feel better, have your boyfriend with you so you don't feel like she's gonna kill you lol I had a friend who had her baby at 15.. her bf broke up with her when she told him and she was so scared to tell her mom that she even still cheered while prego & ended up telling her when she was like 5 months. She didn't tell anyone she was prego until she told me one day & we went and told her mom after school. Her exact words were, mom I haven't had a period since June and I feel the baby moving, but I'm scared. And her mom hugged us both and told her she felt bad that she was too scared to tell her sooner! Then she made her appointment and delivered the most gorgeous little boy in the world almost four months later! She still cheered, maintained her 4.0 & is now making straight A's as a freshman in college & has her own apartment for her & her son!! You can do it too!
  • Prayin_4_twinsPrayin_4_twins
    Sweetie, tell her in person & make sure ur bf is there with you. If @ all she flips out (physically) @ least ur bf will be there to stand in front of you! My cousin was 15, but unlike most ppl (she's crazy) she got preggo on purpose :( anyway she wasn't scared to tell, but the whole fam was shocked & then acceptance. Your mom never should have said what she said but @ least u will know not to say that to urs. Good luck sweetie & remember we are here for you if you need to talk!
    @Mama_Kat what day? I will be 27 on april 28 :-D
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