@mommyof3girls thank you. He's 21 I'm 20. I know he will change i just don't know when. My heart is all sorts of broken already i mean he's the love of my life. I don't ever want to be with anyone else ever again. If he don't shape up seriously i still don't think I'd ever be with anyone else I'm not saying ill still be with him I'm saying ill be single the rest of my life. he'll always have my heart no matter what.
If that is honestly the way you feel, then i guess there's nothing anyone can say to give you support. This is just going to be one of those cases in which the girl keeps going back and forth until she finally gets it on her own. And it really sucks because if it were just you, then it wouldn't be as bad but fact of the matter is that you have a daughter that is growing up in the middle of this and its all affecting her more than you or him. For as long as you two are back and forth she's going to see this and see it as a normal thing, and possibly allow it in her life when she's a grown up. No woman should ever allow a man to play with her the way this man is playing with you, but if you keep this mentality, your daughter won't know better. I know you are A LOT smarter and stronger than this, i just wish you could believe it, if not for you, for your daughter. Because i truly believe that you have so much potential to do so well on your own as a person and a mother. @jules is right, you and him have a lot of growing up to do as individuals before you'll ever have a healthy relationship.
If you'd be okay with your daughter having a relationship like you have now, then work it out. If not, then its time for your next chapter.
I'm not saying do or don't do anything. But kids look to their parents for role models in relationships, and if its not good enough for your baby, it shouldn't be good enough for you.
You're SOOO young!! SOooooo young!! If things don't work out w him believe me when I say this... Someone else, someone AMAZING who deserves your love and gives it right back to you WILL come along. At 20 we feel like we know everything and when you turn 30 you will realize just how little u knew at 20. Life changes so much in those years.
You deserve to be with someone who loves you, cares about your feelings, makes you feel like his queen, puts you before everyone else, goes out of his way to make sure you have everything you need plus some... That is true love. Just keep that in mind. You're a woman, a strong woman w a child to look out for.. Just do what's best for u and ur baby right now. Don't let anything else interfere. If he wants to b part of ur lives he will make an effort.
I really hope you didn't fall for that load of crap! He knows you, knows your attachment and willingness to do anything for him and he KNOWS how to manipulate you. He is only saying things he knows you want to hear and knows you'll believe. He's playing the victim card. Communication skills do NOT miraculously fix themselves in a few short weeks, especially if there has been minimal communication between the two of you. I can bet my life savings that he'll revert to his self-centered, selfish ways within a short period and will continue to neglect your daughter. I'd caution you about moving forward so quickly with him, as you're setting yourself up for disappointment and heartache. I'm sorry.
Try to remember how bad it got, that you had to leave. Remember you left with no money, no car and little independence! THAT right there should be reason enough for you to stay away. Keep moving forward, you and your daughter deserve better!
Just because he's your DAUGHTER dad doesn't man he will be in YOUR life forever. Im 22 and i hate when ppl say that my mom and dad don't ever talk but if they are in public they will speak. That's why in the back of my head if me and my bd won't work out i wont have to deal with him forever because eventually my sons won't need me to see their dad js........
I agree w/everyone..especially mommyof3girls.. Idk if you hate hearing you're young..cause, I did when I was that age..but guess what..now I get it! lol I know in the future you're most likely wanna help a young girl & you're gonna tell her the same thing!
I feel like you should take a step back & reread everything you wrote & really think about it. pretend it was a friend going thru this..cus when I read what your bf reasons.(excuses) were..I laughed..seriously..that was bs! Just continue to become more independent ..continue school! I wish the best for you!
Love is truly blind. His excuses are comical and complete bullshit, dear. If you truly want to make things work, then you both need some intense counseling. Individually and together as a couple. You are SO young and yes! There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Your relationship is severely unhealthy. He is only telling you what you want to hear. Very unlikely that anything will change.
Well sounds like u know that this is unhealthy for everyone. Yes that doesn't change how hard these thing can be however with time things will get easier. like I was saying my advice is take time to grow who knows u night wake up one day saying to urself what did I see in this boy. He is still a boy his very selfish not ready to be in any serious relationship especially one that effects a child. I personally wouldn't continue a relationship with him not only in general but for my child is not good situation
Men take forever to grow up. U need a firm no nonsense hand lol if u go back tell h how it is from the start and do it. I really don't understand a lot of young women allowing these men to treat them like crap. Maybe you should buy a cast iron frying pan my mil has a nice one she has used more than once (not for cooking). I would just kick him out n be done tho.
@ynvtish i decided to come back home . We worked things out and he's communicating more and i see a change. We got pregnant again and were excited about it I'm not sure what his problem was but I'm happy if fixed it.
OY! I truly hope for you and your chikdrens sake that this works, because now you have two children that are going to go through all of this with you.....Ive been there sweetie, it never changes unfortunately, I wish it did but it doesnt.... To put it bluntly he won and more than likely this will happen again.....I really hope im wrong sweetie
@pregoagainYAY I hope your wrong too. I'm still not sure how i feel about the whole situation with me going back. I'm really happy I'm pregnant again though. He just better change. .
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@mylove2 thank you.
@mommyof3girls thank you. He's 21 I'm 20. I know he will change i just don't know when. My heart is all sorts of broken already
I truly hope that this works out for you.
If you'd be okay with your daughter having a relationship like you have now, then work it out.
If not, then its time for your next chapter.
I'm not saying do or don't do anything. But kids look to their parents for role models in relationships, and if its not good enough for your baby, it shouldn't be good enough for you.
Wish you all the best.
You deserve to be with someone who loves you, cares about your feelings, makes you feel like his queen, puts you before everyone else, goes out of his way to make sure you have everything you need plus some... That is true love. Just keep that in mind. You're a woman, a strong woman w a child to look out for.. Just do what's best for u and ur baby right now. Don't let anything else interfere. If he wants to b part of ur lives he will make an effort.
Wishing u all the best.
Idk if you hate hearing you're young..cause, I did when I was that age..but guess what..now I get it! lol I know in the future you're most likely wanna help a young girl & you're gonna tell her the same thing!
I feel like you should take a step back & reread everything you wrote & really think about it. pretend it was a friend going thru this..cus when I read what your bf reasons.(excuses) were..I laughed..seriously..that was bs!
Just continue to become more independent ..continue school! I wish the best for you!
Thank you @kayleigh27